Everyone goes through ups and downs in life, and it is during these times that a good laugh can bring about much-needed relief and perspective.
Our “Humorous Highlights” article brings together a collection of jokes about life, spanning diverse themes such as family, work, friendship, and many more.
With our handpicked selections, we invite readers to explore the lighter side of life and rediscover the joy of laughter.
Contents
Funny Jokes About Life
- “Why don’t secret agents ever sleep? Because they don’t want to be caught napping!”
- “Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today may burn your butt tomorrow!”
- “I used to think I was indecisive. But now, I’m not quite sure.”
- “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- “I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
- “Life is like a bird. It’s pretty cute until it poops on your car.”
- “Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
- “Age is just a number that tells you how long you’ve been annoying people around you.”
- “Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.”
- “The best time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”
- “A day without sunshine is like, well, night.”
- “Why are ghosts bad at lying? You can see right through them!”
- “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
- “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”
- “My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.”
- “I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”
- “If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
- “Do not argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
- You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoe and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
- I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.”
- “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that!”
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
- “Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!”
- “Why don’t some couples go to the zoo? Because they can’t bear it!
- “Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.”
- “My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
- “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
- Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or you’re taking crap from some a**hole.”
- “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
- “Why don’t we ever tell secrets on the farm? Because the corn has ears.”
- “I used to think I was indecisive. Now, I’m not too sure.”
- “Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.”
- “I refused to believe the road worker was stealing from his job, but when I went to his home, all the signs were there.”
- “You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
- “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.”
Funny Jokes About Life Being Hard
- “Why don’t we tell secrets when life gets hard? Because even the walls have ears!”
- “Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.”
- “I thought I was having a bad day until someone told me about their Internet service provider.”
- “Why is life like a pencil? When it breaks, it’s pointless.”
- “I told my boss I needed a raise because I’m so good at math. He said, ‘How do you figure?'”
- “When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe skydiving isn’t for you.”
- When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!
- “When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.”
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- “I told my suitcase that there will be no holiday this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
- “I’d tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.”
- “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
- “I told my therapist about my fear of giants. He told me I have ‘Feefiphobia.'”
- “Why don’t we ever tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears!”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, we have a lot in common!”
- “My boss told me to have a good day…so I went home.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Just don’t forget to consider the sugar tax.”
- “I’ve just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a rap.”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”
- “I told my friend about my broken watch. He said, ‘Time heals all wounds.'”
- “My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.”
- “Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
- “When I was a kid, I wanted to be older… this is not what I expected.”
- Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.”
- “Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.”
- “When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.”
- “I always knock on the fridge before I open it. Just in case there’s a salad dressing.”
- “How do you get a farm girl to like you? A tractor!”
Funny Jokes About Life Lessons
- “Why don’t we ever tell secrets at school? Because the walls have ears, and the school bell can spill the beans.”
- “Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg’? Because every play has a cast.”
- “Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Also, beware of the potholes.”
- “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”
- “Remember, the best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
- “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
- “Life is like a bird. It’s pretty cute until it poops on your car.”
- “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
- “Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.”
- “Never agree with people who say you’re hard-headed. You’ll prove them right.”
- “I told my therapist I feel like a supermarket. He said, ‘How so?’ I said, ‘I always check myself out.'”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.”
- “If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
- “I told my kids they could be anything when they grow up, so they decided to be difficult.”
- “Never trust an atom. They make up everything.”
- “Opportunity doesn’t knock on the door. It presents itself when you beat down the door.”
- “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
- “Life is short. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I’ll do it.”
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”
- “Life teaches you to make good use of time, while time teaches you the value of life.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, so much for skydiving.”
- “Why don’t we ever tell secrets at the bank? Because it’s full of tellers!”
- “Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.”
- “You’re never too old to learn something stupid.”
- “I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
- The road to success is always under construction.
- “I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.”
- “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
- “The lesson of the day is, if you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
Funny Jokes About Life Changes
- “I just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”
- “Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.”
- “I told my boss I needed a raise because living has become expensive. He told me living isn’t a good enough reason.”
- “I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
- “I’ve been going to night school for auto mechanics. So far, I’ve only succeeded in misplacing the toolbox.”
- “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day, in my fort, with the coloring book.”
- “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
- “Why don’t we tell secrets when life gets hard? Because even the walls have ears!”
- “My bank called me this morning and said, ‘Your account is outstanding.’ I said, ‘Thanks!'”
- “I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.”
- “The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.”
- I was going to make a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
- “Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!”
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- “I recently decided to quit my job as a personal trainer. I just wasn’t working out.”
- “When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.”
- “Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.”
- “Why don’t some couples go to the zoo? Because they can’t bear it!
- “When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
- “I changed my password to ‘incorrect.’ So whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say ‘Your password is incorrect.'”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”
- “When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.”
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.”
- “I told my boss three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay. He asked which companies? I told him the gas, electric, and cable.”
- “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
- “I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was a kid.”
- “I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”
- “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
- “I, for one, like Roman numerals.”
Funny Jokes About Life And Death
- “I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
- “Why don’t we ever tell secrets in a graveyard? Because the dead have ears.”
- “I plan to live forever, or die trying.”
- “What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits the windshield? Its rear end.”
- “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
- “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
- “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.”
- “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
- “I told my wife that when I die, I’d like to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
- “Death is hereditary.”
- “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
- “I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.”
- “Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.”
- “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”
- “It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
- “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”
- “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by four o’clock.”
- “If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
- “I intend to live forever, or die trying.”
- “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
- “I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.”
- “How do you know death is a bad guy? Have you ever met him?”
- “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
- “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
- “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.”
- “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.”
- “Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.”
- “I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.”
- “Life is a journey, but don’t worry, you’ll find a parking spot at the end.”
Knock Knock Jokes About Life
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive life and all its opportunities!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Harry.” “Harry who?” “Harry up and seize the day!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Doris.” “Doris who?” “Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Lettuce.” “Lettuce who?” “Lettuce in, it’s too cold out here!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Opportunity.” “Opportunity who?” “You mean, you don’t recognize Opportunity when it knocks?”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Alpaca.” “Alpaca who?” “Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car.”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Life.” “Life who?” “Life is too short, don’t waste it listening to bad knock-knock jokes!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Annie.” “Annie who?” “Annie thing you can do, I can do better!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Iva.” “Iva who?” “I’ve a lot of joy to share with the world!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Turnip.” “Turnip who?” “Turnip the volume, it’s my favorite song!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Canoe.” “Canoe who?” “Canoe help me with my homework?”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Robin.” “Robin who?” “Robin you! Hand over your sweets!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Dewey.” “Dewey who?” “Dewey have to go to work today?”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Boo.” “Boo who?” “Don’t cry, it’s just a joke.”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Harry.” “Harry who?” “Harry up and answer the door!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Lettuce.” “Lettuce who?” “Lettuce celebrate life!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Leaf.” “Leaf who?” “Leaf all your worries behind!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Figs.” “Figs who?” “Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive next door, can I borrow some sugar?”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cash.” “Cash who?” “No thanks, but I could use some peanuts!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Hatch.” “Hatch who?” “Bless you!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Noah.” “Noah who?” “Noah good place we can get some dinner?”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Mustache.” “Mustache who?” “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Icy.” “Icy who?” “Icy you!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Atch.” “Atch who?” “Bless you!”
- Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Hoo.” “Hoo who?” “Are you an owl?
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Amish.” “Amish who?” “You’re not a shoe!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cows go.” “Cows go who?” “No, silly. Cows go ‘moo’!”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “A broken pencil.” “A broken pencil who?” “Oh, forget it. It’s pointless.”
- “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Anita.” “Anita who?” “Anita little more time to come up with a good knock-knock joke!”
Final Words
Through humor, we can find a unique lens to view and make sense of life’s many eccentricities.
These jokes about life aren’t just meant to elicit laughter—they also encourage us to ponder, with a smile on our faces, the beautiful complexities of our existence.
So, remember, even in life’s most challenging moments, there’s always a reason to smile. Keep this collection close to your heart, and when you need a hearty laugh, revisit these jokes to remind yourself of life’s inherent humor.
After all, life may not be the party we’d always hoped for, but while we’re here, we might as well dance.
Hey there i am Amit a witty soul who never saw life through the same lens as other, my life always revolves around making others smile. Here on my website you will get daily dose of laughter on numerous topics that are lighthearted and witty.