Squirrel Jokes: Nutty Humor for Everyone!

Do you need a good laugh or simply want to add some more humor to your next conversation? Look no further!

Our love for these cheeky, tree-hopping creatures has inspired a whole category of humor: squirrel jokes.

In this article, we’ll dive into the comical world of these fuzzy-tailed critters, exploring the funniest squirrel jokes, puns, and one-liners that’ll make you laugh out loud.

From nutty punchlines to adorable squirrel antics, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and lighten any conversation.

Squirrel Jokes

Squirrel Jokes
  1. What do you call a squirrel with a nut allergy? A shell-shocked squirrel!
  2. Why did the squirrel take a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  3. How do squirrels pay for their snacks? With nuts and bolts!
  4. What do squirrels do after they fight? They bury the hatchet!
  5. Why did the squirrel go to the baseball game? He heard the peanuts were free!
  6. What do you call a squirrel that can sing? A chipmunk!
  7. How can you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act nuts!
  8. Why don’t squirrels have any money? Because they work for peanuts!
  9. Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry!
  10. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of key? A monkey!
  11. What did the squirrel say to his girlfriend? I’m nuts about you!
  12. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of math? Geometry!
  13. Why do squirrels never get lost? Because they always take the tree route!
  14. What do you call a squirrel with a large vocabulary? A wordy rodent!
  15. How do squirrels remember where they bury their acorns? They acorn-t remember!
  16. What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts!
  17. What’s a squirrel’s favorite dance move? The nutcracker!
  18. Why did the squirrel go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be nuts!
  19. How do squirrels fight off evil? With their nut-chucks!
  20. Why do squirrels always look guilty? Because they are always up to something!
  21. What do you call a squirrel that has been knighted? Sir-rel!
  22. Why did the squirrel bring a flashlight to the party? Because it was a little dim!
  23. How do squirrels relax after a long day? They just chill out in their tree-tops!
  24. What do squirrels wear to go dancing? Their nutty-ties!
  25. Why did the squirrel become a detective? Because he wanted to crack a few cases!
  26. What’s a squirrel’s favorite instrument? The acorn-net!
  27. What did the judge say to the squirrel? You’ve been accused of driving someone nuts!
  28. What do you call a squirrel that only eats unhealthy snacks? A junk food nut!
  29. Why did the squirrel join the tennis team? Because they thought they could make a good racquet!
  30. Why did the squirrel sit on the clock? He wanted to be on “tree” time!
  31. Why did the squirrel stop halfway up the tree? He was going out on a limb!
  32. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite type of weather? When it’s raining cats and dogs!
  33. What do you call a squirrel that can’t make up its mind? In-decisive!
  34. What do squirrels wear to go swimming? Acorn-bikinis!
  35. How does a squirrel organize its home? It keeps everything in tree-mendous order!
  36. What do you call a squirrel who lives in the desert? A sandnut!
  37. What do you call a squirrel that hoards shiny objects? A gold digger!
  38. How did the squirrel find its way in the forest? It took a “tree-tour”!
  39. What do you call a flying squirrel? A hot air balloonist!
  40. Why did the squirrel carry an umbrella? Because he wanted to be a “rain-nut”!

Funny Squirrel Puns

Funny Squirrel Puns
  1. That squirrel is so nuts about fitness, he does “squirrels” instead of curls at the gym.
  2. When the squirrel went to the beach, he packed an “acorn-ucopia” of snacks.
  3. I’m going to “cashew” later, said the squirrel as he scurried away.
  4. That squirrel over there has an “oak-ay” sense of humor.
  5. You wouldn’t believe the “pecan” of traffic in the squirrel neighborhood.
  6. The squirrel was so upset because he had “walnutting” left.
  7. When the squirrel moved to the city, he was in “nutty” waters.
  8. You could say the squirrel is a “whiskered” veteran in nut collecting.
  9. The squirrel comedian really knows how to “crack” a joke.
  10. That squirrel is really “branching out” with his food choices.
  11. The squirrel just had a “barking” good time at the park.
  12. The squirrel’s party was “pine-ful” of good times.
  13. The squirrel keeps all his savings in the “bark.
  14. The squirrel’s band is going to “leaf” everyone impressed.
  15. He’s not any squirrel, he’s a “nut-thority” on acorns.
  16. “Oak-ay” I’ll get that done, said the squirrel.
  17. You know that squirrel? He’s a real “pine” in the neck.
  18. That squirrel is really “branch-y”, always looking for the best trees.
  19. This squirrel joke might “treet” you to a laugh.
  20. I’m so excited, I’m “quaking” in my boots said the squirrel.
  21. You should have seen the squirrel at the party. He was totally “nuts.”
  22. I think I have a “crush” on that squirrel.
  23. The squirrel was all out of food and feeling “shell” shocked.
  24. I can’t make it to the party, I have a “bunch” of things to do, said the squirrel.
  25. That squirrel has a “tree-mendous” sense of style.
  26. The squirrel’s house was a “hazel” to clean.
  27. The squirrel really “barked” up the wrong tree this time.
  28. The squirrel’s new business was a “nut-breaking” experience.
  29. The squirrel’s favourite sport is “branch” lifting.
  30. The squirrel’s new book was “nuts and bolts” of tree living.
  31. The squirrel’s vacation was a “tree-t” to remember.
  32. That squirrel must be a baker because he’s always got “buns” in the oven.
  33. The squirrel was on a strict diet, so he decided to “pecan” his food wisely.
  34. The squirrel always had a “knack” for finding the best acorns.
  35. The squirrel couldn’t find his stash, he was in a real “nut-flix” series.
  36. The squirrel was an artist, he had a “tree-m” for painting.

Squirrel Dad Jokes

  1. Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans? Because their nuts wouldn’t fit.
  2. What do you call a squirrel who’s always forgetful? Absent-mind-nut.
  3. Why don’t squirrels ever get sick? Because they always take their Vitamin Tree!
  4. What do you call a squirrel that can pick up heavy things? A power lifter-nut.
  5. Why do squirrels always look so dramatic? Because every moment is nut-cracking.
  6. How do you catch a squirrel on a computer? You create a shortcut to the “acorn” folder!
  7. Why was the squirrel late to work? He got stuck in a traffic “jam-nut.”
  8. Why did the squirrel break up with the almond? Because she was nuts about someone else.
  9. What do you call a squirrel that has been knighted? Sir-ratary.
  10. Why did the squirrel bring an umbrella to the beach? He didn’t want to become a roasted nut.
  11. Why do squirrels hate fast food? It never fills their “appet-nut”.
  12. What do you call a squirrel who’s good with tools? A nut and bolt expert!
  13. Why did the squirrel take the day off? He was feeling a bit “nutty.”
  14. What do squirrels do when they’re not feeling well? They visit the “wal-nutritionist.”
  15. What kind of car does a squirrel drive? An acorn-et.
  16. Why did the squirrel wear a raincoat? He heard there was a chance of “showers with a chance of acorns.”
  17. What’s a squirrel’s favorite school subject? His-tree!
  18. Why don’t squirrels have any secrets? Because they crack under pressure.
  19. How do squirrels celebrate their birthdays? They throw a “nutty” party!
  20. Why did the squirrel stop texting? He lost his “nut-fone.”
  21. What do you call a squirrel with no money? “Peanut”-less.
  22. What do squirrels use to cut their hair? A-nut-clipper!
  23. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of news? Breaking nut news!
  24. Why did the squirrel bring a flashlight to the party? He didn’t want to be left in the dark-nut.
  25. What’s a squirrel’s favorite form of exercise? Nut-crunches.
  26. How does a squirrel catch a plane? He takes the “nut-port” shuttle.
  27. What do squirrels call their grandparents? “Grandnut” and “Grandnutcracker.”
  28. What did the squirrel say to his noisy friend? Stop raising a “racket-nut.”
  29. Why did the squirrel go to therapy? He had too many “nut-ty” issues.
  30. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of story? A “nut-venture.”
  31. Why did the squirrel go on a diet? He wanted to be a “lean nut.”
  32. What’s a squirrel’s favorite piece of jewelry? A “pecan-dant.”
  33. Why did the squirrel cross the road? The nuts were on the other side.
  34. Why do squirrels make terrible secret agents? They spill the beans too easily.
  35. What do you call a squirrel who can’t decide what to eat? “Inde-nut-sive.”
  36. Why was the squirrel at the computer? He wanted to check his “nut-mail.”
  37. Why do squirrels make bad comedians? Because their jokes are “acorn-y.”
  38. How does a squirrel keep his pants up? With an acorn-belt!
  39. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of music? Nut-n-Roll!
  40. What’s a squirrel’s favorite exercise? The “jumping nut.”
  41. What do you call a squirrel that can play the guitar? A “nut-strummer.”
  42. Why don’t squirrels like playing cards in the wild? Too many “cheat-nuts.”
  43. Hope these brought a smile to your face!

Squirrel Nut Jokes

 Squirrel Nut Jokes
  1. Sure, here are 40 squirrel and nut-related jokes for you:
  2. What do you call a squirrel that doesn’t hoard nuts? Nut-thing much!
  3. Why don’t squirrels share their nuts? Because they’re shellfish.
  4. Why did the squirrel sit on the walnut? Because he didn’t want to crack under pressure.
  5. How do squirrels keep their pants up? With an acorn-nut belt!
  6. What do you call a squirrel that lost its nuts? De-nutted!
  7. How do squirrels sort their nuts? With nut-merical order.
  8. What is a squirrel’s favorite game? Nut-cracker!
  9. Why did the squirrel bring the peanut to the party? Because he wanted to have a shell of a time!
  10. What do you call a squirrel that hoards only one type of nut? A monocultur-nut!
  11. Why did the squirrel break up with his girlfriend? She was driving him nuts!
  12. Why did the squirrel join a band? Because he had the nuts to do it!
  13. Why did the squirrel go to the therapist? He felt like he was going nuts.
  14. What’s a squirrel’s favorite thing to read? A book full of nutty stories!
  15. How does a squirrel make a quick decision? It goes with its gut-nut!
  16. What’s a squirrel’s favorite school subject? Nut-ral sciences!
  17. What do you call a squirrel who’s lost all his nuts? Shell-shocked!
  18. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of weather? Nut-falling snow.
  19. What do squirrels use to fix things? Nuts and bolts!
  20. Why was the squirrel so good at math? He knew his square nuts!
  21. How did the squirrel crack the nut code? With a nut-cracker!
  22. What do you call a squirrel who’s good at cracking nuts? A nut-ural!
  23. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite kind of nut? A doughnut – too sweet!
  24. Why did the squirrel carry a nut with him everywhere? It was his lucky charm-nut!
  25. Why did the squirrel go to the coffee shop? To get a nutty latte!
  26. How does a squirrel party? He turns up the nut-ic!
  27. What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of pie? Pecan!
  28. Why did the squirrel cross the road? To get to the nut on the other side!
  29. What’s a squirrel’s favorite song? The Nutcracker Suite!
  30. What do you call a squirrel who only eats pistachios? A pistachi-nut!
  31. Why do squirrels make great detectives? They always crack the case!
  32. What do you call a squirrel that can play the drums? A walnut pounder!
  33. Why did the squirrel keep checking his watch? He didn’t want to miss nut-time!
  34. What do squirrels use to drink their sodas? Straw-nuts!
  35. How do squirrels apologize? They say, “I’m sorry if I drove you nuts!”
  36. What do you call a squirrel’s home? A nut-house!
  37. What’s a squirrel’s favorite movie? Nutting Hill!
  38. What do squirrels wear to stay warm in winter? Nut-muffs!
  39. What kind of nuts always seem to have a cold? Cashews!
  40. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of nut? The one it can sink its teeth into!
  41. Why did the squirrel take his date to the nut factory? He thought it would be a crunch time!
  42. I hope you find these jokes amusing!

“How do you get a squirrel to like you?” Joke

"How do you get a squirrel to like you?" Joke
  1. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Be a little nuts!
  2. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Show up with a handful of acorns!
  3. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Climb a tree and look nutty!
  4. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Throw a nutty party!
  5. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Make sure you’re “cracking” funny jokes.
  6. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
  7. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Invite them to a peanut butter picnic!
  8. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Speak in squirrel-language: “Nut, nut, nut!”
  9. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Don’t “bark” up the wrong tree.
  10. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Have a very “branchy” house.
  11. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Learn to “chatter” like they do.
  12. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Make a fashion statement with an acorn hat!
  13. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Become an expert tree climber.
  14. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Bring a map of all the best nut stashes.
  15. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Wear a cologne called “Essence of Nut.”
  16. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Let them win at a game of “hide the nut.”
  17. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Have a picnic under a giant oak tree.
  18. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Build a treehouse for them to hang out.
  19. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Play the “Nutcracker Suite” on repeat.
  20. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Get a job at a nut factory.
  21. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Sing them nutty lullabies.
  22. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Start a nut collection.
  23. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Offer to babysit their nut stash.
  24. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Show them your squirrelly dance moves.
  25. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Have a tail-wagging good time.
  26. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Bring a nut-flavored cake to their party.
  27. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Crack open a nut and share it.
  28. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Dress up as their favorite tree.
  29. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Write a book on the art of nut hunting.
  30. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Invent a new kind of nut.
  31. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Offer them a scholarship to Nut University.
  32. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Master the art of nut juggling.
  33. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Take them to a nutty amusement park.
  34. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Be as cheeky as they are.
  35. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Show them you’re a nut above the rest.

Squirrel Lost Nuts Joke

Squirrel Lost Nuts Joke
  1. What do you call a squirrel that lost its nuts? A shell of its former self!
  2. Why did the squirrel lose his nuts? Because he was playing hide and don’t seek!
  3. What did the squirrel say when he lost his nuts? “I’m going nuts!”
  4. How does a squirrel feel after losing his nuts? Absolutely crushed!
  5. Why don’t squirrels play poker in the wild? Because one of them might lose his nuts!
  6. What’s a squirrel’s biggest fear? Losing its nuts!
  7. Why did the squirrel take a map to the forest? To avoid losing his nuts!
  8. What did the squirrel say after he lost his nuts? “This is nuts!”
  9. What do you call a squirrel that lost its nuts in a bet? A poor sport!
  10. What do squirrels use to find their lost nuts? Their nut-vigation system!
  11. Why did the squirrel make a backup stash of nuts? He was afraid of losing his main stash!
  12. What did the squirrel do when he lost his nuts? He called for a shell-p out!
  13. Why did the squirrel stop playing chess? He was afraid he’d lose his nuts!
  14. What happens to a forgetful squirrel? It loses its nuts!
  15. Why did the squirrel go on a diet? Because he kept losing his nuts!
  16. What did the squirrel do when he lost his last nut? He went to the nut-bank!
  17. Why did the squirrel go to therapy? He was stressed about losing his nuts!
  18. What did the squirrel say to his friend who lost his nuts? “Don’t worry, I’ve got extra!”
  19. What do you call a squirrel who always loses his nuts? Unlucky-nut!
  20. Why was the squirrel always losing his nuts? Because he had a hole in his pocket!
  21. Why don’t squirrels play football? They might lose their nuts!
  22. Why did the squirrel go back to school? To learn how not to lose his nuts!
  23. What happened when the squirrel lost his nuts? He had a major meltdown!
  24. Why did the squirrel start a nut insurance company? To cover the loss of nuts!
  25. What do you call a squirrel that lost his nuts in autumn? Fall-gotten!
  26. What do you call a squirrel who can’t find his stored nuts? Forgetful!
  27. How does a squirrel feel after it loses all its nuts? Dejected and rejected!
  28. What does a squirrel say after losing his nuts in a storm? “That was a hard nut to swallow!”
  29. Why did the squirrel hire a detective? To find his lost nuts!
  30. What’s a squirrel’s worst nightmare? Waking up to lost nuts!
  31. What does a squirrel say when he loses his nuts at sea? “Oh ship, my nuts!”
  32. Why did the squirrel see a psychiatrist? He kept losing his nuts!
  33. What does a squirrel do when he can’t find his nuts? Calls the nut-finders hotline!
  34. Why did the squirrel get glasses? To stop losing his nuts!
  35. Why don’t squirrels play hide and seek? They always lose their nuts!
  36. How does a squirrel react when he can’t find his nuts? He goes nuts!
  37. Why did the squirrel take a picture of his nuts? So he won’t lose them!
  38. What does a squirrel do after losing his nuts? Starts a nut hunt!
  39. What did the squirrel say when he found his long-lost nuts? “I’m so nut-cited!”
  40. What’s a squirrel’s favorite game? Nut, nut, who’s got the nut?
  41. I hope these brought a smile to your face!

Lazy Squirrel Puns

Lazy Squirrel Puns
  1. That squirrel doesn’t do much, he’s really “squirreling” his time away.
  2. That lazy squirrel is just “nut” going anywhere today.
  3. That squirrel must love lounging, he’s a real “lay-z-nut.”
  4. That squirrel is always “sloth-like,” he’s really “nut” in a hurry.
  5. I think that squirrel loves his hammock, he’s always “hanging around.”
  6. That squirrel must be “nut” a morning person.
  7. That squirrel never rushes, he’s a real “nut-crastinator.”
  8. That squirrel is always taking breaks, he’s got a case of “nut-itis.”
  9. That squirrel’s work ethic is really “nut” up to par.
  10. That squirrel is always resting, he must be a “nut-napper.”
  11. That squirrel’s favorite exercise? The “nut-lift” from the ground to his mouth.
  12. That squirrel doesn’t do much, he just “tree-laxes” all day.
  13. That squirrel has a “laid-back” attitude to nut hunting.
  14. That squirrel is really “branch-y,” always lounging in the tree.
  15. That squirrel is “nut-oriously” slow.
  16. That squirrel is so lazy, he’s a real “slacker-nut.”
  17. That squirrel is always taking it easy, he must love the “slow-nut” life.
  18. That squirrel is always chilling, he must be in “tree-tirement.”
  19. That squirrel doesn’t even lift a paw, he’s “acorn-ed” in laziness.
  20. That squirrel loves his sleep, he’s a “snooze-nut.”
  21. That squirrel must love Sunday, it’s his “day of rest-nut.”
  22. That squirrel is always lounging around, he’s a “sit-nut.”
  23. That squirrel doesn’t like work, he’s a real “lay-z-acorn.”
  24. That squirrel is always resting, he must be a “lounge-nut.”
  25. That squirrel is the master of the “do-nut-disturb” sign.
  26. That squirrel doesn’t hustle, he’s really a “slow-nut.”
  27. That squirrel is always taking it easy, he’s a real “relax-nut.”
  28. That squirrel is a master at the art of “doing nut-thing.”
  29. That squirrel loves his couch, he’s a “sofa-nut.”
  30. That squirrel is so lazy, he’s practically “in-tree-vertible.”
  31. That squirrel is always chilling out, he’s a real “nut-chiller.”
  32. That squirrel is really not into cardio, he’s a “run-not”.
  33. That squirrel loves his naps, he’s a real “snooze-acorn”.
  34. That squirrel is so lazy, he has a PhD in “staycations.”
  35. That squirrel is always napping, he’s a “doze-nut”.

Jokes About Chipmunks

Jokes About Chipmunks
  1. Why don’t chipmunks wear socks? They like going “bear”-foot!
  2. What’s a chipmunk’s favorite type of music? Nut and Roll!
  3. Why do chipmunks make great spies? They always keep things “undercover.”
  4. What do you call a chipmunk who likes to clean? A sweep-munk!
  5. How do chipmunks make their bed? With sheets and “pill-nuts”!
  6. What do you call a chipmunk that sings? A Chip-tune!
  7. Why did the chipmunk bring a ladder to the party? He heard the food was on the house!
  8. What’s a chipmunk’s favorite subject in school? His-tree!
  9. Why don’t chipmunks play soccer? They’re afraid of getting a penalty for “nut-handling”!
  10. What do you call a chipmunk in a spaceship? An astro-nut!
  11. What kind of car does a chipmunk drive? A Nut-cedes Benz!
  12. What do you call a chipmunk that can play the piano? A key-munk!
  13. Why did the chipmunk sit on the clock? He wanted to be on “tree” time!
  14. How does a chipmunk get a new tail? He goes to the re-tail store!
  15. Why did the chipmunk cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  16. Why did the chipmunk become a baker? Because he kneaded the dough!
  17. What do you call a chipmunk that can paint? An art-munk!
  18. Why did the chipmunk go to the doctor? He felt a little “squirrelly”!
  19. Why do chipmunks make bad secret agents? They can’t keep things under their hat!
  20. What do you call a chipmunk with no teeth? A gum-munk!
  21. How do chipmunks catch fish? With their “bear” hands!
  22. What do chipmunks use to cut wood? A “saw-munk”!
  23. Why do chipmunks always take the elevator? They hate going “nuts” on the stairs!
  24. Why don’t chipmunks like fast food? Because it’s hard to “ketchup” with them!
  25. How do chipmunks celebrate their birthday? With a “chip-munk” cake!
  26. What’s a chipmunk’s favorite computer key? The “space” bar!
  27. Why did the chipmunk join the gym? He wanted to get “chip-shape”!
  28. What do you call a chipmunk that likes to swim? A dip-munk!
  29. Why do chipmunks always win at poker? Because they have the perfect “poker face”!
  30. What do you call a chipmunk that can play the guitar? A “rock-munk”!
  31. Why did the chipmunk become a comedian? Because life’s all about the “nuts” and giggles!
  32. What do you call a chipmunk that lies all the time? A “fib-munk”!
  33. Why did the chipmunk go to the library? He was looking for “book-marks”!
  34. What do you call a chipmunk with bad manners? A “rude-munk”!
  35. Why don’t chipmunks ever get lost? Because they always follow the “right path”!
  36. Why did the chipmunk refuse to play hide and seek? He was a “sore-loser”!
  37. How does a chipmunk start his computer? He hits the “enter-nut” button!
  38. What do you call a chipmunk who loves fast food? A “junk-munk”!
  39. Why did the chipmunk stop playing video games? He was tired of all the “nut-bashing”!
  40. What do you call a chipmunk who knows karate? A “chip-ninja”!

Final Words

We hope that you’ve enjoyed this hilarious journey through the world of squirrel humor.

It’s always a joy to spread laughter and cheer, and these squirrel jokes are just the ticket for bringing a smile to your face and those around you.

So, the next time you see a squirrel darting up a tree or notice one skittering around in your backyard, remember these jokes and share a laugh with a friend.

After all, life’s a little bit brighter when we take the time to enjoy the lighter, nuttier side of things.

Remember, the secret to great humor is timing, just like the squirrel who knows exactly when to grab the nut!

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