Laughing with Lobster Jokes: The World of Crustacean Comedy

In the fascinating world of humor, no subject is too obscure or too specific to be made into a punchline, not even our dear friends from the ocean floor – lobsters.

Armed with their notable pincers, distinct body shape, and an almost mythical reputation as a luxury delicacy, these creatures make for an unexpected yet surprisingly funny source of comedic material.

This article will dive deep into the waters of lobster-themed jokes, illustrating the versatility of humor that stems from these underwater dwellers.

Whether you’re an aficionado of marine life, a connoisseur of culinary jokes, or simply an enthusiast of humor that pushes the boundaries of the ordinary, these lobster-themed jokes are guaranteed to ‘crack’ you up.

Brace yourself for a wave of laughs as we set sail into this quirky corner of comedy, where humor meets the ocean’s bounty.

Lobster Jokes

Lobster Jokes
  1. Why don’t lobsters share? Because they’re shellfish!
  2. What do you call a lobster that doesn’t work? A slobster.
  3. How do lobsters answer the phone? “Shello?”
  4. Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed.
  5. What do lobsters write their letters on? Crust-stationery!
  6. Why did the lobster refuse to play cards with the shark? It thought he was dealing from the bottom of the “tank”.
  7. What do you call a lobster who won’t clean up its room? A mess-tacean.
  8. What’s a lobster’s favorite exercise? Clawsthenics.
  9. Why did the lobster go to the party? Because it heard there would be lots of “bubbles”!
  10. What did the lobster say to the shrimp? Don’t be so shellfish.
  11. What did the crab say to the lobster at the party? Stop being so shellfish and pass the crab dip!
  12. What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat? A Santa Claws!
  13. What do you call a lobster living in an enchanted forest? A fable-ous crustacean!
  14. Why did the lobster cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation!
  15. What kind of math do lobsters like best? Alge-bra!
  16. Why do lobsters never pay for their dinner? Because they always leave their wallet in their other shell!
  17. Why did the lobster get a job? Because he wanted to make a little extra sand dollars.
  18. How did the lobster propose to his girlfriend? With a pearl in a clamshell.
  19. What do you call a lazy lobster? A slob-ster!
  20. How does a lobster like to celebrate its birthday? With a big shell-ebration!
  21. What do you call a lobster that flies? A shell-icopter!
  22. How do lobsters get around the city? They take the subwave!
  23. Why did the lobster wear a suit to work? He got a promotion to be the boss of the prawn shop!
  24. How does a lobster answer a tricky question? By clamming up!
  25. What do you call a lobster who won’t fight? A chicken of the sea!
  26. How does a lobster say hello? Waving his claw in the air.
  27. Why did the lobster become a poet? Because he always had a way with his words… and his claws!
  28. What’s a lobster’s favorite dance move? The clam-jam.
  29. Why was the lobster so popular? Because he was a real smooth-sheller!
  30. What do you call a lobster who practices law? A crust-a-tician!
  31. Why are lobsters always at the end of a line? Because they don’t know how to “cuttle” in!
  32. Why are lobsters bad at football? They always get a penalty for holding!
  33. Why don’t lobsters like to share their toys? They’re a little shell-fish.
  34. What do you call a lobster in a suit? Sophisti-clawed!
  35. Why did the lobster go to school? To get a little more ‘tail’-ented!
  36. How do lobsters keep their pants up? With crab-clips.
  37. Why did the lobster join the circus? He wanted to be a claw-n!
  38. What did the lobster say when he bumped into the fish? “I’m in a pinch!”
  39. Why did the lobster blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
  40. Why did the lobster sit beside his best friend? Because he didn’t want to feel shell-alone!
  41. What do you call a lobster who wins the lottery? A million-clawed crustacean!
  42. Why don’t lobsters like to play hide and seek? They always get crabby when they can’t find you!
  43. How does a lobster like to get his news? Straight from the prawn-agraph!
  44. What did the lobster say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? “You’re my lobster!”
  45. Why was the lobster a great detective? He always knew when things were fishy!

Lobster Tail Jokes

Lobster Tail Jokes
  1. Why did the lobster tail go to school? Because it wanted to be a little bit more ‘tail-ented’!
  2. Why do lobsters never tell each other secrets? Because they can’t keep things private, they always blab it out their tails!
  3. What do lobsters use to fix their tails? Claw-glue!
  4. Why was the lobster tail always last? It was a little ‘behind’.
  5. What do you call a lobster tail that won’t quit? Persistent!
  6. Why did the lobster tail break up with its partner? Because it felt ‘dragged’ along.
  7. Why did the lobster tail join the circus? Because it always wanted to be in a big ‘tentacle’!
  8. What do you call a lobster tail that knows everything? Know-it-tail!
  9. Why did the lobster tail lose its job? It couldn’t keep up with the workload and fell ‘behind’.
  10. Why did the lobster tail get an award? For outstanding performance in ‘tail-blazing’!
  11. What do you call a lobster tail that plays football? A lobster ‘tail-back’!
  12. Why was the lobster tail always relaxed? Because it just goes with the ‘flow’!
  13. Why did the lobster tail go to the bakery? It had a ‘crust’ to bear!
  14. What do you call a lobster tail that can sing? A ‘lob-star’!
  15. Why did the lobster tail go on a diet? It wanted to ‘trim’ its waistline!
  16. Why did the lobster tail cross the road? To get to the other ‘tide’!
  17. Why did the lobster tail go to the party? Because it wanted to ‘shell-abrate’!
  18. What do you call a lobster tail that is always right? ‘Infalli-tail’!
  19. Why did the lobster tail win the race? Because it knew how to ‘push’ itself!
  20. Why was the lobster tail a great detective? It always followed the ‘clue-stacean’!
  21. Why was the lobster tail always tired? Because it had too many ‘jobs to shell’!
  22. What do you call a lobster tail that loves to clean? A tidy-tail!
  23. Why did the lobster tail get promoted? It was always ahead of the ‘game’!
  24. What do you call a lobster tail that can’t make up its mind? Undeci-tail!
  25. Why did the lobster tail go to the bar? To have a few ‘sips’!
  26. Why did the lobster tail get in trouble at school? It kept ‘pinching’ other students!
  27. Why was the lobster tail always prepared? Because it didn’t want to be caught ‘off-guard’!
  28. What do you call a lobster tail that can act? A drama-tail!
  29. Why did the lobster tail get a sunburn? It forgot its ‘sun-claw-reen’!
  30. Why did the lobster tail refuse to play hide and seek? It couldn’t handle the suspense. It was always on ‘tenterhooks’!
  31. Why did the lobster tail never get lost? Because it always followed its ‘instincts’!
  32. Why did the lobster tail break the law? Because it was a rebel without a ‘claws’!
  33. Why was the lobster tail a good writer? It had a ‘tail’ of adventures!
  34. Why did the lobster tail go to the concert? To see the ‘rock-bands’!
  35. Why did the lobster tail never run out of money? It was always ‘saving’!
  36. Why was the lobster tail good at math? It was an ‘add-tail’!
  37. Why did the lobster tail refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get ‘snappy’!
  38. What do you call a lobster tail that tells jokes? A funny ‘tail’!
  39. Why did the lobster tail never get bored? It always found a way to ‘amuse’ itself!
  40. Why did the lobster tail always finish its tasks? Because it was a good ‘finisher’!

Lobster Pun

Lobster Pun
  1. I’ve got a “crust-hunch” about this.
  2. Let’s get “krill” about this matter.
  3. Stop “krilling” me with your jokes.
  4. You’ve “lobstered” my heart.
  5. Let’s not be “shellfish” and share.
  6. You’re my “lobster” for life.
  7. Let’s “sea-z” the day!
  8. This is “claw-ful”, we need to change our plan.
  9. I’m feeling “butter” now, thanks for asking.
  10. That’s the “sealiest” thing I’ve ever heard!
  11. I have a “shell-ing” this is going to be a great day.
  12. It’s not “o-fish-al” yet, but it’s going well.
  13. “Claw-b” up the corporate ladder.
  14. My dreams are as “deep-sea” as your love.
  15. “Water” you thinking about this?
  16. Keep your “claws-some” attitude.
  17. Your jokes are a “krackler”!
  18. Let’s make a “sandwich“, lobster-style.
  19. I can’t “kelp” but laugh at your jokes.
  20. I “seafood” differently after that meal.
  21. You’re being a “beach”, please stop.
  22. You’re so “shore” of yourself.
  23. I’m not “shore” what to do.
  24. I’m on “tide” schedule today.
  25. Don’t get “tide” down with work.
  26. You’re my “beach” when I’m lost at “sea”.
  27. You’re so “ocean-sive”.
  28. This work is “un-claw-ful”.
  29. Stop “waving” your responsibilities.
  30. I’m feeling a bit “krusty” today.
  31. I think I’m “falling” for you, hook, “line” and “sinker”.
  32. Your love is like the “ocean“, it’s deep and endless.
  33. I “shrimply” cannot live without you.
  34. I have a “sand-sational” idea!
  35. Your charm is “ocean-al”.
  36. Don’t be “krabby”, be happy!
  37. I’m in a “lobster” of trouble without you.
  38. You’ve got “mussel”, I like it.
  39. I’m in “deep” with you, lobster-style.
  40. This is “lobstercally” delicious!
  41. You’re a “catch”, let’s never “split”.
  42. We’re two “shells” of a kind.
  43. I’m “claws-itive” we can make this work.

Lobster One Liners Jokes

Lobster One Liners Jokes
  1. How does a lobster answer the phone? “Shello, who’s this?”
  2. What do you call a lazy lobster? A “lob-slug.”
  3. Did you hear about the lobster who went to the party? He pulled a mussel!
  4. You’re so selfish, you must be a lobster!
  5. Do you know what a lobster says when it’s in love? “You’re my butter half!”
  6. The lobster went to the seafood disco and pulled a mussel!
  7. Why don’t lobsters ever donate to charity? They are just too shellfish!
  8. Why was the lobster embarrassed to go to the beach? Because he saw the shrimp’s tail!
  9. What does a lobster like to bake? Crust-acean pies!
  10. Why don’t lobsters like to share their toys? They’re a little shell-fish.
  11. What do you call a lobster that flies? A shell-icopter!
  12. Why did the lobster become a basketball player? He heard they have great “court” time.
  13. What’s a lobster’s favorite song? “Under the Sea!”
  14. Why do lobsters never tell secrets? Because they’re afraid of being caught in a net!
  15. Why did the lobster refuse to share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish!
  16. Lobsters don’t mind being served at seafood restaurants – they’re shell-shocked anyway!
  17. What do you call a lobster that won’t share its food? A shellfish seafood lover!
  18. What’s a lobster’s favorite fast food? Crusty Crab!
  19. Why did the lobster cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
  20. Lobsters are the comedians of the sea… they’re always “cracking” jokes!
  21. Why did the lobster go broke? Because he kept pinching pennies!
  22. What did the lobster say when he got stepped on? “That’s just a little crushing!”
  23. Why did the lobster go to the art gallery? To see the sand-whiches!
  24. Why did the lobster blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  25. Why don’t lobsters ever pay for dinner? They always leave their wallet in their other shell!
  26. Why do lobsters make terrible secret keepers? They’re always getting steamed and cracking under pressure!
  27. Why are lobsters so generous? Because they always offer a helping claw!
  28. Why do lobsters always know the latest news? They keep everything on the sea-floor!
  29. How do lobsters talk to each other? They use shell phones!
  30. What’s a lobster’s favorite exercise? The clam jam!
  31. How does a lobster get to the hospital? In a clambulance!
  32. Why did the lobster go to the doctor? He had a bad case of “claw-strophobia.”
  33. Why are lobsters always confused? Because they’re always in a pinch!
  34. What’s a lobster’s favorite coffee? An espresso, because it keeps them “krill-ing” through the day.
  35. What’s a lobster’s favorite TV show? “Claws.”
  36. Why are lobsters so bad at sharing? They’re shellfish.
  37. What’s a lobster’s favorite dessert? Sand dollar cookies!
  38. Why was the lobster a great football player? He had all the right “moves and claws.”
  39. Why did the lobster refuse to go to the seafood dance? He had nobody to go with him!
  40. What’s a lobster’s favorite place to visit? The Claw-liseum!
  41. Why was the lobster always the star of the show? He knew how to “claw” the audience!
  42. What’s a lobster’s favorite movie? “The Clawshank Redemption.”
  43. What’s a lobster’s favorite hobby? Pinch-erest!
  44. What do you call a lobster who likes to clean? A scrubster!
  45. Why was the lobster such a romantic? Because he always knew the way to a girl’s “sea-heart.”

Lobster Walks Into A Bar Joke

Lobster Walks Into A Bar Joke
  1. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
  2. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we’re out of Bloody Marys. The last customer was a real ‘blood sucker’!”
  3. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the red face?”
  4. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.” The lobster replies, “But I’m over a century old in lobster years!”
  5. A lobster walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve seafood.”
  6. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The lobster says, “That’s okay. I just wanted a ‘pinch’ of salt.
  7. A lobster walks into a bar and asks, “Do you serve crabs here?” The bartender replies, “Of course not, we treat all our customers with respect!”
  8. A lobster walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “That’ll be $15.” The lobster says, “Oh, no, I’m a little short.” The bartender says, “Well, you do seem a bit shellfish.”
  9. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The lobster says, “That’s okay, I’m here for the atmosphere.”
  10. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The lobster replies, “I’m not here to eat. I heard your cocktails are ‘clawsome’!”
  11. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why so blue?” The lobster replies, “Well, life under the sea isn’t always a beach, you know!”
  12. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve seafood.” The lobster replies, “That’s okay, I’m a vegetarian.”
  13. A lobster walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for my brother, have you seen him?” The bartender says, “I don’t know, what’s he look like?”
  14. A lobster walks into a bar and says, “I’m in a bit of a pinch. Could I get a glass of water?” The bartender replies, “Sure, but don’t be shellfish, leave a tip.”
  15. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” The lobster replies, “I’ll have a pint of sea-water please, barkeep!”
  16. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve seafood here.” The lobster replies, “That’s okay, I’m just here for the ‘bubbly’.”
  17. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’ll it be?” The lobster says, “Surprise me!” The bartender serves him a glass of fresh sea water.
  18. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no shirt, no shoes, no service.” The lobster replies, “That’s ‘cray-sea’!”
  19. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food.” The lobster says, “That’s okay, I brought my own. It’s a ‘sand’-wich.”
  20. A lobster walks into a bar and says, “One beer please.” The bartender says, “I’ll need to see some ID.” The lobster says, “No problem, just check my ‘shell-fie’ on my ID card.”
  21. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You can’t come in here. You’re already drunk.” The lobster replies, “No, I’m just walking sideways.”
  22. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no pets allowed.” The lobster replies, “I’m not a pet, I’m on a ‘roll’!”
  23. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve seafood here.” The lobster replies, “Good. I’ll have a steak.”
  24. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve seafood.” The lobster replies, “That’s okay, I was feeling a bit ‘crabby’ anyway.”
  25. A lobster walks into a bar and says, “Do you serve crabs here?” The bartender replies, “No, and we’d appreciate it if you’d leave, too!”
  26. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The lobster says, “You have a drink named Larry?”
  27. A lobster walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “One whiskey, neat.” The bartender replies, “Sure, but don’t get too ‘steamed’.”
  28. A lobster walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender says, “You don’t look like you can pay.” The lobster replies, “Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of ‘clams’.”
  29. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “No need to look so blue!” The lobster replies, “That’s just my nature!”
  30. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” The lobster says, “I just got dumped. She said I was too ‘shellfish’.”
  31. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re underdressed. This is a formal event.” The lobster replies, “What do you mean? I wore my best shell!”
  32. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re not from around here, are you?” The lobster replies, “No, I’m just here on ‘current-sea’.”
  33. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The lobster says, “I’m feeling a little ‘crabby’. I’ll take a beer.”
  34. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re looking sharp today!” The lobster replies, “Thanks, I just got my claws done.”
  35. A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve seafood.” The lobster replies, “That’s okay. I came in for the karaoke.”

Final Words

While our journey into the world of lobster humor now draws to a close, the laughs don’t need to end here.

As we’ve seen, humor can be found in the most unexpected places, even beneath the ocean’s surface!

So next time you find yourself in a ‘pinch’ for a good joke or a playful pun to lighten the mood, why not turn to our funny friends, the lobsters?

And remember, humor is like the ocean – vast, deep, and filled with unexpected treasures.

Keep exploring and you’ll never run out of reasons to laugh. Keep these lobster jokes in your arsenal, and you’ll surely make any occasion a little bit ‘bubblier’.

Until then, keep laughing, and keep exploring the depths of humor!

Leave a Comment