Unleashing Humor on Ice – A Compilation of Jokes About Hockey

Imagine a cold winter day, a roaring crowd, the shrill whistle, and the rhythmic swoosh of skates on ice – it can only be one thing, a thrilling game of hockey.

But hockey isn’t just about the tension, the goals, and the brilliant saves; there’s a lighter side to it, one that can provoke a hearty laugh and lighten the mood even when the game gets tough.

Welcome to our delightful compilation of jokes about hockey!

Here we explore the funnier side of this thrilling sport, aiming to amuse hockey enthusiasts, fans, players, and even those with a passing interest in the game.

Hockey Puns

Hockey Puns
  1. Why don’t hockey players drink tea?
    • Because the Canadiens and Bruins have all the cups!
  2. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game?
    • It left its Windows open!
  3. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the offseason?
    • Because they’re great at rolling the dough!
  4. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in hockey?
    • Ghoulie.
  5. Why did the hockey player keep his trumpet on the ice?
    • He wanted to play some cool music!
  6. How do you call a monkey who loves to play hockey?
    • A Rink-tailed lemur!
  7. What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team?
    • Nine after nine!
  8. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey?
    • A Puck-osaurus!
  9. How do hockey players like their donuts?
    • With icing!
  10. Why don’t hockey players ever sweat?
    • They have too many fans!
  11. What do you call a goalie who doesn’t allow any goals?
    • A net gain!
  12. Why was Cinderella kicked off the hockey team?
    • She always ran away from the ball!
  13. Why was the leprechaun on the hockey team?
    • He was great at the face-offs!
  14. What do hockey players and magicians have in common?
    • They both do hat tricks!
  15. Why do hockey players never get locked out of their homes?
    • Because they always carry their keys on a rink!
  16. Why did the scarecrow become a hockey goalie?
    • Because he’s outstanding in his field!
  17. Why do hockey players carry their sticks?
    • In case they get into a puck-le!
  18. Why was the math book a great hockey player?
    • It had all the right angles!
  19. What did the hockey player say to the puck?
    • “Catch you on the ice!”
  20. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself at a hockey game?
    • It’s two-tired!
  21. Why did the tomato turn red at the hockey game?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing in the locker room!
  22. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music?
    • Hip check-hop!
  23. Why are hockey games so fun to watch?
    • Because they always keep you on ice!
  24. Why was the badminton racket so good at hockey?
    • It always makes a great “net”work!
  25. Why do hockey players make terrible gardeners?
    • They’re afraid of getting into the weeds, they prefer the ice!
  26. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of math?
    • Geometry because of all the angles!
  27. Why did the cookie join the hockey team?
    • Because he’s got great “chips”!
  28. Why don’t hockey players use straws?
    • They prefer sipping it on the ice!
  29. Why did the hockey player go to jail?
    • Because he was caught hooking!
  30. What do hockey players eat for dessert?
    • Puck-cakes!
  31. Why don’t fish play hockey?
    • They’re afraid of the nets!
  32. What do you call a dinosaur that’s a hockey goalie?
    • A Tyrannosaurus Net!
  33. How is a dentist like a hockey coach?
    • They both use drills!
  34. Why did the hockey player take his vacation in the jungle?
    • He wanted to get in touch with his wild side, away from the ice!
  35. How does a hockey player show his affection?
    • He gives you a puck!
  36. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game?
    • So he could tie the game!
  37. Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the ice?
    • Because the pucks have ears!
  38. Why are hockey players such great musicians?
    • Because they always hit the right note with their sticks!
  39. What do you call a dog who plays hockey?
    • A puck hound!
  40. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery?
    • They needed a good “roll”!

Hockey Dad Jokes

Hockey Dad Jokes
  1. Why don’t hockey players ever get hot?
    • Because they always stay near the boards for “cooling” off!
  2. Why did the hockey player go to jail?
    • Because he couldn’t stay out of the penalty box!
  3. What do hockey players drink when they’re in a hurry?
  4. Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the rink?
    • There are too many “leaks” on the ice!
  5. Why did the hockey puck go to school?
    • To get a little “smarter” before the game!
  6. How can you tell a hockey player is a good chef?
    • He always has great “top-shelf” recipes!
  7. Why did the hockey player carry around a pencil?
    • He wanted to “draw” a penalty!
  8. How do hockey players stay cool during a game?
    • They sit next to the fans!
  9. Why are ghosts terrible hockey players?
    • You can always see right through their plays!
  10. Why did the hockey player go to the bakery?
    • Because he heard the bread was as soft as his slap shots!
  11. How is a hockey referee like an old safe?
    • They both have combination locks!
  12. Why don’t hockey players use paper?
    • Because it’s too easy to tear them!
  13. Why do hockey players love donuts?
    • Because they can’t resist the icing!
  14. What do you call a hockey player who always gets hurt?
    • A “breakaway”!
  15. Why did the can crusher quit his hockey team?
    • Because it was “soda pressing”!
  16. Why are cakes like hockey teams?
    • They both need a good “batter”!
  17. Why are hockey players like magicians?
    • They both do hat tricks!
  18. What’s a hockey player’s favorite vegetable?
    • “Puckered” peas!
  19. How does a penguin build its house?
    • Igloos it together…just like a hockey team!
  20. Why did the bicycle fall over at the hockey game?
    • It was two “tired”!
  21. Why are spiders great hockey players?
    • Because they’re great at net-working!
  22. Why did the hockey player always carry a map?
    • So he wouldn’t get caught offside!
  23. What do you call a cat that plays hockey?
    • A puck-meow-nster!
  24. Why are hockey players like goldfish?
    • You tap on the glass to get their attention!
  25. How do hockey players like their eggs?
    • Slap shot over easy!
  26. Why was the math book a great hockey player?
    • It had all the right angles!
  27. Why are hockey games such great places for stories?
    • Every game has so many periods!
  28. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game?
    • It left its Windows open!
  29. Why did the hockey player refuse to play cards?
    • He was afraid of getting checked!
  30. What do you call a dog who plays hockey?
    • A puck hound!
  31. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of tea?
    • Penaltea!
  32. Why do we tell hockey players to “break a leg”?
    • Because every game has a cast of thousands!
  33. What do you call a scrappy hockey player?
    • A puck-raker!
  34. Why did the chicken join the hockey team?
    • Because it heard the referee was a “fowl” guy!
  35. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in hockey?
    • Ghoulie.
  36. How do hockey players stay in touch?
    • They drop each other a “puck”!
  37. Why did the scarecrow become a hockey goalie?
    • He was outstanding in his field!
  38. What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team?
    • Nine after nine!
  39. Why did the puck go to the hockey game?
    • He heard it was a smashing event!
  40. Why don’t hockey players go camping?
    • They hate getting “iced” in their tents!
  41. What do you call a monkey who loves hockey?
    • A Gorill-ice!
  42. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery?
    • Because they needed a good “roll”!

Funny Hockey Jokes

Funny Hockey Jokes
  1. Why don’t hockey players go on vacation?
    • They don’t like to be away from the net!
  2. How is a dog like a hockey player?
    • They both can’t resist chasing the puck!
  3. Why do we never play hide and seek with hockey players?
    • Because good luck when they decide to hide in the penalty box!
  4. Why was the math book an awful hockey player?
    • Because it has too many problems!
  5. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music?
    • Ice-tunes!
  6. Why did the baker join the hockey league?
    • Because he knows the recipe for rolls!
  7. What do hockey players and magicians have in common?
    • They both do hat tricks!
  8. Why don’t hockey players drink hot chocolate?
    • They’re afraid they’ll get called for icing!
  9. Why did the tomato turn red at the hockey game?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing in the locker room!
  10. Why did the hockey player take his vacation in the jungle?
    • He was hoping to be a bit more “wild”!
  11. How can you tell a vampire likes hockey?
    • He switches his cape for a cowl on game nights!
  12. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery?
    • Because they heard the baker had great rolls!
  13. What do you call a monkey playing hockey?
    • A Chimp-anz-ice!
  14. Why did the puck break up with the hockey stick?
    • It was tired of being hit all the time!
  15. Why do hockey players never tell secrets on the ice?
    • The puck might over-hear!
  16. Why did the hockey player sit on the clock?
    • He wanted to get more time on ice!
  17. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in hockey?
    • Ghoulie!
  18. Why are hockey arenas always cold?
    • Because they’re filled with fans!
  19. How is a dentist like a hockey player?
    • They both use drills!
  20. What do you call a sleepwalking hockey team?
    • Puck-walking!
  21. Why do hockey players like to play in the garden?
    • Because they’re good at planting “check”-ers!
  22. Why was Cinderella terrible at hockey?
    • Because she always ran away from the ball!
  23. How do you call a fight between film actors at a hockey game?
  24. Why don’t hockey players use bandaids?
    • They prefer to have their cuts “ice-d”!
  25. Why don’t hockey players tell jokes during the game?
    • They’re afraid they’ll “crack the ice”!
  26. Why do hockey players wear so many layers?
    • Because they never want to “freeze”!
  27. What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team?
    • Nine after nine!
  28. Why do hockey players make the best detectives?
    • They always get their man at the end of the third period!
  29. Why did the hockey player go to jail?
    • Because he was guilty of a “face-off”!
  30. Why can’t hockey players use straws?
    • They prefer sipping it on the ice!
  31. Why was the math book a good hockey player?
    • It had all the right angles!
  32. How does a hockey player show his affection?
    • He gives you a puck!
  33. What do hockey players eat for dessert?
    • Puck-cakes!
  34. Why do hockey players like to shop online?
    • Because they can always find “ice” deals!
  35. What do you call a dog who plays hockey?
    • A puck hound!
  36. Why was the puck called for icing?
    • It wouldn’t “chill out”!

Ice Hockey Puns

Ice Hockey Puns
  1. That hockey player is so reliable, he never cracks under pressure, not even on thin ice!
  2. Why do hockey players always have a plan B? They always want to have a backup in case they can’t break the ice!
  3. I told my friend I’d gotten a job cleaning the ice at the hockey rink. He told me it was just a “Zamboni” scheme!
  4. When it comes to hockey, getting the puck past the goalie is a “net” gain!
  5. How does a hockey player propose? He just “pucks” the question!
  6. Did you hear about the goalie who never allowed a single goal? He was truly a “keeper”!
  7. That hockey player must be a gardener in his spare time, he’s always in the corners digging for the puck!
  8. The ice hockey game was so exciting that even the puck was “flipping out”!
  9. The hockey player spent all day at the bank because he loves checking!
  10. Why do hockey players never sweat? They have too many fans!
  11. I know a hockey player who can play Beethoven. He’s a great “score”!
  12. Hockey is so refreshing, especially when the players get a good “check”!
  13. The baker was a natural hockey player. He knew all about “rolling the dough”!
  14. The hockey player always carried a map. He never wanted to get caught offside!
  15. How does a hockey player open his drink? With a “can” opener!
  16. My friend said he could play hockey on his head, but I told him not to “puck” fun at me!
  17. Why did the hockey player always bring string to the game? So he could tie the game!
  18. That hockey player must be a carpenter, he’s always “board” checking!
  19. I told the hockey player that his shoes were untied but he knew I was just trying to “trip” him!
  20. Why did the hockey player become a musician? Because he has great “chops”!
  21. How do you know if a hockey player is a secret agent? When he’s good at “sticking” to people!
  22. I used to play hockey in a band. I was in charge of the “face-off”!
  23. The hockey game was so quiet, you could hear a puck drop!
  24. Why did the puck break up with the hockey stick? It was tired of getting hit on!
  25. The hockey game was so dull, it was like watching paint dry, but colder!
  26. Why are ghosts good hockey players? They know how to “body check”!
  27. I told my friend I’d start a hockey team with him, but I was just skating on thin ice!
  28. I used to play hockey in a jungle. It was full of “cheetahs”!
  29. Why did the baker make a good hockey player? He was used to the “rolls”!
  30. My friend said he was a hockey player. I told him to “puck” off!
  31. My friend asked me to play hockey. I told him “ice” see about it!
  32. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? He wanted to have a great “trip”!
  33. How do hockey players cut their pizza? With their “sharp” skates!
  34. Why did the scarecrow become a hockey goalie? He was outstanding in his field!
  35. The hockey player was always “iced” out with jewelry!
  36. The hockey team didn’t have a care in the world, they were just “chilling”!
  37. Why do hockey players never get lost? They always follow the “puck”!
  38. Why did the hockey player go to the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough!
  39. The hockey team always brought a ladder to the game, in case they needed to step up their game!
  40. The magician was a natural hockey player, he always had a “trick” up his sleeve!
  41. My friend keeps telling me to stop making hockey puns, but I’m not afraid to go to the penalty box!
  42. The hockey player went to art school because he wanted to draw more than just penalties!
  43. Why did the hockey player take a nap before the game? He needed some “slap” rest!

Field Hockey Jokes

Field Hockey Jokes
  1. Why don’t field hockey players ever get lost?
    • Because they always follow the goal posts!
  2. How do field hockey players stay cool?
    • They stay close to the fans!
  3. Why was the field hockey game so hot?
    • Because all the fans left!
  4. Why don’t field hockey players tell secrets on the field?
    • Because the grass has ears!
  5. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in field hockey?
    • Ghoul keeper!
  6. Why are field hockey players always calm?
    • Because they never lose their “field” of concentration!
  7. Why did the field hockey player go to jail?
    • Because she couldn’t escape the penalty corner!
  8. Why do field hockey players never catch a cold?
    • The goal keeper always saves them!
  9. Why did the field hockey player sit on the clock?
    • She wanted to be on “time” for every game!
  10. Why did the tomato turn red at the field hockey game?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing in the locker room!
  11. What do you call a dinosaur that plays field hockey?
    • A Foss-hockey-l!
  12. What do you call a cat playing field hockey?
    • A goal-furry!
  13. Why do field hockey players like donuts?
    • They can’t resist the icing!
  14. Why did Cinderella fail at field hockey?
  15. What is a hockey player’s favorite type of music?
    • Stick beats!
  16. Why did the field hockey team go to the bakery?
    • Because they kneaded a good roll!
  17. Why did the scarecrow become a field hockey goalie?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field!
  18. Why did the field hockey game get so tense?
    • Because it was a tie and the players were all “knotted” up!
  19. What do field hockey players use to bake a cake?
    • Their “stick” mixer!
  20. Why did the chicken join a field hockey team?
    • Because it heard the referee was a “fowl” guy!
  21. Why are spiders great field hockey players?
    • Because they know the web of the game!
  22. Why are field hockey games always cool?
    • They are full of fans!
  23. What’s the difference between a field hockey player and a magician?
    • A magician does tricks, a field hockey player does “sticks”!
  24. Why was the computer cold at the field hockey game?
    • It left its Windows open!
  25. Why don’t field hockey players tell jokes during the game?
    • Because they’re afraid they’ll “crack” the field!
  26. What do you call a sleepwalking hockey team?
    • Game dreamers!
  27. Why do field hockey players make terrible comedians?
    • Their jokes always go wide of the mark!
  28. Why don’t field hockey players use bandaids?
    • They prefer to let the wounds “field” naturally!
  29. Why did the field hockey player bring a rope to the game?
    • So she could “tie” the score!
  30. How does a field hockey player propose to his girlfriend?
    • He just pucks the question!
  31. What do you call a dog who plays field hockey?
    • A puck hound!
  32. Why do field hockey players use old maps for wrapping paper?
    • So they can “corner” the gift market!
  33. What do you call a field hockey player who can play Beethoven?
    • A musical hit!
  34. Why are hockey players like pencils?
    • They always have a great point!
  35. How does a field hockey player refuse a bad date?
    • By giving them the “stick”!
  36. Why was the field hockey game so quiet?
    • You could hear a puck drop!
  37. Why did the scarecrow join the field hockey team?
    • He was great at blocking shots!
  38. Why did the field hockey team bring a ladder to the game?
    • They hoped it would help them reach their goals!

Hockey Jokes For Kids

Hockey Jokes For Kids
  1. What do you call a monkey playing hockey?
    • A Chimpan-z-ice!
  2. Why don’t hockey players ever get hot?
    • They always stay near the “ice”!
  3. Why did the puck go to school?
    • To get a little “smarter” before the game!
  4. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in hockey?
    • Ghoulie!
  5. What do you call a dog who plays hockey?
    • A puck hound!
  6. Why did the hockey player go to jail?
    • Because he kept getting caught “hooking”!
  7. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey?
    • A Puck-osaurus!
  8. Why was Cinderella terrible at hockey?
    • Because she always ran away from the ball!
  9. Why did the baker join the hockey team?
    • Because he knows the recipe for rolls!
  10. What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team?
    • Nine after nine!
  11. Why do hockey players drink hot tea?
    • To “warm up” before the game!
  12. Why don’t hockey players ever catch a cold?
    • Because the goalie always saves them!
  13. What do hockey players and magicians have in common?
    • They both do hat tricks!
  14. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game?
    • Because he wanted to have a great “trip”!
  15. Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the ice?
    • Because the puck might overhear!
  16. How can you tell a vampire likes hockey?
    • He switches his cape for a cowl on game nights!
  17. Why are ghosts bad at hockey?
    • You can see right through their moves!
  18. Why was the math book good at hockey?
    • It had all the right angles!
  19. What did the hockey player say when he scored a goal?
    • “That’s just ice-ing on the cake!”
  20. Why did the bicycle fall over at the hockey game?
    • It was two “tired”!
  21. Why did the tomato turn red at the hockey game?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing!
  22. How does a penguin build its house?
    • Igloos it together…just like a hockey team!
  23. Why don’t hockey players go camping?
    • They hate getting “iced” in their tents!
  24. What’s a hockey player’s favorite vegetable?
    • “Puckered” peas!
  25. Why do hockey players make terrible gardeners?
    • They’re afraid of getting into the weeds, they prefer the ice!
  26. Why did the cookie join the hockey team?
    • Because he’s got great “chips”!
  27. How does a hockey player refuse a bad date?
    • He just gives them the “cold shoulder”!
  28. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game?
    • He didn’t want to get caught “offside”!
  29. What do you call a cat playing hockey?
    • A goal-furry!
  30. Why did the field hockey game get so tense?
    • Because it was a tie and the players were all “knotted” up!
  31. Why do field hockey players like donuts?
    • They can’t resist the icing!
  32. How is a dentist like a hockey player?
    • They both use drills!
  33. Why did the can crusher quit his hockey team?
    • Because it was “soda pressing”!
  34. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game?
    • It left its Windows open!
  35. Why did the hockey player always carry a pencil?
    • He wanted to “draw” a penalty!
  36. How do hockey players stay in touch?
    • They drop each other a “puck”!
  37. Why did the hockey player go to the bakery?
    • Because he kneaded the dough!
  38. Why do hockey players like watching comedies?
    • They love a good “puck-er” up!
  39. Why was the field hockey game so quiet?
    • You could hear a puck drop!
  40. Why did the scarecrow become a field hockey goalie?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field!
  41. Why did the field hockey player go to jail?
    • Because she couldn’t escape the penalty corner!
  42. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game?
    • He wanted to have a great “trip”!

Final Words

And there you have it!

A collection of jokes that took a humor-filled skate around the ice hockey rink.

We hope these jokes about hockey have hit your funny bone, just like a great slapshot hits the back of the net.

Remember, whether you’re a seasoned player, a fan, a parent cheering from the stands, or someone simply discovering this exciting sport, laughter is an essential part of the game.

So, the next time you’re out on the ice or cheering for your team, don’t forget to share a joke or two.

After all, laughter is just as universal as our shared love for the fantastic sport of hockey.

Keep the laughs coming and the puck moving!

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