Scrum-aging for Laughs: A Compilation of Hilarious Rugby Jokes

Tickle your funny bone with this engaging collection of rugby jokes!

Packed full of puns, wordplays, and witticisms that draw inspiration from the exciting world of rugby, this article is sure to leave you rolling with laughter.

Whether you’re a hardcore rugby fan, a casual observer, or just a lover of good humor, you’ll find something here to brighten up your day.

Rugby Puns

1. Why did the rugby player go to the bakery? Because he needed a good “roll”.
2. Why don’t rugby players have mid-life crises? They stay in their “prime”!
3. What do you call a rugby player who becomes a gardener? A “scrum” bush.
4. Why was the rugby ball always getting in trouble? It never “plays” by the rules.
5. How do rugby players stay cool? They just stand close to the “fans”.
6. What do you call a fast rugby player? A “try”-athlete!
7. Why did the rugby player bring string to the game? Just in case he needed to “tie”!
8. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of music? “Ruck” and roll.
9. Why was the rugby player at the bank? He wanted to save his “try”.
10. Why are rugby players great at geometry? They never miss an “angle.
11. What do you call a rugby player who has written a book? An “author” of destruction.
12. Why did the postman become a rugby player? Because he loves to deliver.
13. How does a rugby player maintain a balanced diet? With a “scrum-ptious” meal.
14. Why don’t rugby players play hide and seek? They always get caught in the “ruck”.
15. What do you call a rugby player who tells jokes? A “fun” forward.
16. What’s a rugby player’s favorite beverage? “Pitch”er of water.
17. Why don’t rugby players ever get tired? They’re always in the “try” zone.
18. Why was the rugby player good at chess? He always knew when to “check-mate”.
19. Why was the rugby ball feeling sick? It was getting kicked around all day.
20. How do rugby players like their eggs? “Hard-boiled”.
21. What’s a rugby player’s favorite vegetable? “Spin”-ach.
22. Why are rugby players always calm? They know how to get their “conversion”.
23. Why do rugby players make good detectives? They always “tackle” the problem.
24. How do rugby players keep their clothes so clean? They always use extra “scrum”.
25. What do you call a rugby player’s dream? A “field” of dreams.
26. Why are ghosts terrible at rugby? They can’t hold onto the ball, they just go through it.
27. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of pasta? “Penne”-lty pasta.
28. Why are rugby players great dancers? They always know when to “sidestep”.
29. Why was the rugby player a good actor? He always knew his “lines”.
30. What do you call a rugby player with a sunburn? A “peeling” fullback.
31. Why don’t rugby players need alarm clocks? Because they always “wake up in the scrum”.
32. Why are rugby players so good at baking? They always “knead” the dough perfectly.
33. How do rugby players handle a crisis? They just “try” to keep cool.
34. Why do rugby players never get lost? They always follow the “line-out”.
35. What’s a rugby player’s favorite fruit? “Banan-aside”!
36. Why was the rugby player a good musician? He always knew the “score”.
37. How do rugby players stay so fit? They always eat their “tackles and greens”.

Rugby Jokes

1. Why don’t grasshoppers watch rugby? They prefer cricket.
2. Why don’t rugby players ever catch a cold? Because they always tackle hard!
3. Why did the rugby ball go to school? To get a little “kicked” out of it.
4. Why did the skeleton not play rugby? Because its heart wasn’t in it.
5. What do you call a Frenchman at the Rugby World Cup final? A spectator.
6. What do you call a Kiwi with a Rugby World Cup? A thief.
7. How do you know the toothbrush was invented by a rugby player? If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been a teethbrush.
8. What do you call a rugby player with a champagne bottle in his hand? A waiter.
9. Why are rugby players always early? They don’t want to miss the kick-off.
10. Why did the scarecrow become a rugby referee? Because he was outstanding in his field!
11. What do you call a rugby player without a girlfriend? Homeless.
12. What’s a ghost’s favorite rugby position? Ghoulie.
13. Why did the rugby player go to jail? Because he couldn’t escape the “scrum”.
14. What’s the difference between a rugby player and a gentleman? A gentleman will never run in public.
15. How does a rugby player stay cool during a game? By standing near a fan.
16. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the rugby team? Because she always ran away from the ball.
17. Why was the computer good at rugby? It had a hard drive.
18. What do you call a wing who just broke up with his girlfriend? Independently wealthy.
19. Why are spiders good rugby players? Because they’re always on the web.
20. What do you get when you cross a rugby player with a flower? Tulip tackle.
21. Why do rugby players do well in school? They know their tries, tables.
22. What do you call a rugby player who can play the piano? A piano ruck man.
23. What’s a rugby player’s favorite math subject? Geometry, because of all the angles.
24. What kind of tea do rugby players drink? Penaltea.
25. Why are rugby players always calm? Because they are part of the ruck and roll group.
26. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of music? Ruck and Roll.
27. Why did the rugby ball go to the party? Because it was kicked out of the game.
28. Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the bar? Because he wanted to reach the high tackles.
29. What do you call a rugby player who doesn’t eat meat? A vegetackle.
30. What’s the difference between a high-priced rugby ticket and a nosebleed? About fifty yards.
31. What do rugby players use to bake a cake? A good, hard mix.
32. Why did the rugby player bring a rope to the game? Just in case there was a tie!
33. What do you call a girl on a rugby team? A diamond in the r

Rugby League Jokes

1. Why don’t rugby players have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence!
2. Why did the rugby player go to the bakery? Because he needed a good “roll”!
3. Why do rugby players never catch a cold? Because you can’t catch anything when you’re constantly passing!
4. What do you call a rugby player who can play music? A “tackle” bell.
5. How do rugby players stay cool during a match? They stay close to the fans!
6. Why did the rugby ball go to school? Because it wanted to get kicked into “touch”.
7. What’s a ghost’s favorite rugby position? The “boo”ck.
8. Why did the scarecrow become a rugby referee? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. How do rugby players manage their money? They always try to save their “try”.
10. What do you call a cat that plays rugby? A “scrum” cat.
11. Why did the rugby player bring string to the game? So he could tie up the score.
12. What do you call a cake made for a rugby team? A bundt for “bundling”.
13. What do you call a dinosaur that plays rugby? A “try”ceratops.
14. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of music? “Ruck” and roll!
15. Why don’t grasshoppers watch rugby? They watch “cricket” instead.
16. Why did the rugby player go to the party? To add more “try”umph!
17. What do rugby players drink before a match? Kick” start coffee.
18. Why don’t rugby players use emails? They prefer to “pass” messages.
19. Why was the computer good at rugby? It had a hard drive!
20. What did the rugby ball say to the player? “I get a kick out of you”.
21. Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach the “high tackles”.
22. Why did the rugby player take his ball and go home? Because it was having a ball!
23. Why did the rugby player always carry a map? So they wouldn’t get “lost in the scrum”.
24. What’s a rugby player’s least favorite type of tea? Penal”tea”.
25. Why are spiders good rugby players? Because they always have eight “boots” on!
26. What do rugby players wear to sleep? Their “try-jamas”.
27. How does a rugby player say goodbye? “Ruck you later!”
28. Why did the rugby player break up with his girlfriend? She wouldn’t stop tackling the issues.
29. How can you tell if a ghost is a rugby player? It won’t stop “passing” through you!
30. What’s a rugbyleaguer’s favorite cereal? “Tackle” O’s.
31. Why did the bird play rugby? Because it was a “ruck”-ing bird.
32. Why did the rugby player bring a spoon to the game? To “stir” up the game.
33. What does a rugby player do when he loses his car? He gets a “scrum”my new one.
34. Why don’t rugby players play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always in the scrum!
35. Why did the rugby player carry a pencil? To “draw” the match.
36. Why did the baker become a rugby player? He was great at “kneading” the ball.
37. What does a rugby player do at an intersection? Takes a quick “lineout”.
38. Why did the rugby player go to the art museum? He was interested in the “draw”ings.

Welsh Rugby Jokes

1. Why don’t Welsh rugby players play hide and seek? Because nobody would look for them!
2. What’s the difference between a Welsh rugby player and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
3. Why did the Welsh rugby player go to the bakery? Because he needed a good “roll” in the scrum.
4. Why did the Welsh rugby player go to the sheep farm? He wanted to practice his tackles!
5. How do Welsh rugby players manage their money? They always try to save their “try”.
6. What do you call a Welsh rugby player who can play music? A “tackle” bell.
7. Why do Welsh rugby players never catch a cold? You can’t catch anything when you’re constantly passing!
8. Why did the scarecrow make a great Welsh rugby player? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. What do you call a Welsh rugby player with a rose in his mouth? A “tackle” romantic.
10. Why did the Welsh rugby ball go to school? It wanted to get kicked into “touch”.
11. How do Welsh rugby players stay cool during the match? They stay close to the fans!
12. What do you call a cat that plays Welsh rugby? A “scrum” cat.
13. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in Welsh rugby? The “boo”ck.
14. Why did the Welsh rugby player bring string to the game? So he could tie up the score.
15. What do you call a cake made for a Welsh rugby team? A “bundt” for “bundling”.
16. What do you call a dinosaur that plays Welsh rugby? A “try”ceratops.
17. What’s a Welsh rugby player’s favorite type of music? “Ruck” and roll!
18. Why don’t grasshoppers watch Welsh rugby? They watch “cricket” instead.
19. Why did the Welsh rugby player go to the party? To add more “try”umph!
20. What do Welsh rugby players drink before a match? Kick” start coffee.
21. Why don’t Welsh rugby players use emails? They prefer to “pass” messages.
22. Why was the computer good at Welsh rugby? It had a hard drive!
23. What did the Welsh rugby ball say to the player? “I get a kick out of you”.
24. Why did the Welsh rugby player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach the “high tackles”.
25. Why did the Welsh rugby player take his ball and go home? Because it was having a ball!
26. Why did the Welsh rugby player always carry a map? So they wouldn’t get “lost in the scrum”.
27. What’s a Welsh rugby player’s least favorite type of tea? Penal”tea”.
28. Why are spiders good Welsh rugby players? Because they always have eight “boots” on!
29. What do Welsh rugby players wear to sleep? Their “try-jamas”.
30. How does a Welsh rugby player say goodbye? “Ruck you later!”
31. Why did the Welsh rugby player break up with his girlfriend? She wouldn’t stop tackling the issues.
32. How can you tell if a ghost is a Welsh rugby player? It won’t stop “passing” through you!
33. What’s a Welsh rugby player’s favorite cereal? “Tackle” O’s.
34. Why did the bird play Welsh rugby? Because it was a “ruck”-ing bird.
35. Why did the Welsh rugby player bring a spoon to the game? To “stir” up the game.
36. What does a Welsh rugby player do at an intersection? Takes a quick “lineout”.

Rugby Birthday Jokes

1. Why don’t rugby players ever have surprise birthday parties? Because they’re always ready for the “pass”.
2. Why did the rugby ball never get invited to birthday parties? It always gets “kicked” around.
3. Why don’t you give a rugby player a balloon for his birthday? He’ll just try to convert it.
4. What’s a rugby player’s favorite part of a birthday party? The “scrum-ptious” cake!
5. What did the rugby ball say on its birthday? “I’m having a ball!”
6. How do rugby players like to celebrate their birthdays? With a “try-umphant” party.
7. Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to his birthday party? To reach the high notes in the birthday song.
8. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of birthday gift? A new pair of “rucking” boots.
9. Why did the rugby player bring a spoon to his birthday party? To stir up some fun.
10. What did the birthday card say to the rugby player? “Hope your birthday is a ‘try-umphant’ one!”
11. Why did the rugby player’s birthday cake go to the gym? It needed to “work out” its layers!
12. How do rugby players cut their birthday cake? With a “precision kick”.
13. Why was the rugby player’s birthday party at the beach? He wanted to have a “sand-ruck”.
14. Why did the rugby player invite a referee to his birthday party? To keep the party in “touch”.
15. What do you call a rugby player’s birthday party? A “scrum”-maging time.
16. What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of birthday music? “Ruck” and roll!
17. Why was the rugby player’s birthday cake so large? It was made for a “team” effort!
18. What kind of birthday dessert does a rugby player like? Ruck”-y road ice cream.
19. Why did the birthday balloon say to the rugby player? “Don’t ‘pass’ me around too much!”
20. What did the rugby player wish for on his birthday? A “try” to victory!
21. What do rugby players give out at their birthday parties? Party “tackles”.
22. How does a rugby player wrap his birthday gifts? With a “try” of ribbon.
23. Why are birthday candles like a rugby team? They stick together until they get “blown out”.
24. What did the birthday cake say to the rugby player? “You’re the ‘icing’ on the team!”
25. Why was the rugby ball the life of the birthday party? It really knew how to “bounce”.
26. Why was the rugby player’s birthday cake as big as the rugby field? Because he wanted a piece for every “try”.
27. What’s a rugby player’s favorite birthday party game? “Pass the parcel”.
28. What does a rugby player do on their birthday? They “scrum” together a party.
29. What do you call a rugby player who bakes his own birthday cake? A “scrum”-my chef.
30. Why did the rugby player put his birthday hat on the rugby ball? To get the party “rolling”.
31. What does a rugby player do with his birthday candles? He tries to convert them into a wish!
32. Why did the rugby player bring his entire team to his birthday? He wanted to “pass” the celebration around.

Final Words

With this vibrant selection of rugby-themed jokes, we hope to have brought a smile to your face.

These lighthearted jests are a testament to the joy and camaraderie that sports, especially rugby, foster among fans and players alike.

So, whether you’re gearing up for a big match, looking to lighten the mood in the locker room, or just want to share a chuckle with friends, remember – laughter is always a winning play!