Splitting Hairs and Sides: The Funniest Hair Jokes

Looking for a way to add a dose of humor to your day or to break the ice at your next gathering? How about delving into the world of hair jokes?

From puns about barbers to quips about crazy hairdos, these hair-related jokes are a sure-fire way to tickle your funny bone.

In this lighthearted article, we’ve collected a vast array of hair jokes that are perfect for everyone, from hairdressers to those who just enjoy a good laugh.

Whether you have a frizzy mop, a sleek bob, or even a shiny bald head, these jokes will have you laughing out loud and enjoying the lighter side of haircare.

Hair Jokes

Hair Jokes
  1. Why don’t barbers get caught in traffic? Because they always know the short cuts!
  2. Why did the hairbrush go to school? It wanted to go straight to the top.
  3. What do you call a hair salon for cats? A purr-sonal grooming center.
  4. Why did the hairbrush never lose at poker? Because it always goes straight.
  5. What type of hair does an ocean have? Wavy!
  6. Why did the hair strand get in trouble? It was always parting.
  7. Why did the hairdresser become a gardener? He wanted to improve his roots.
  8. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  9. Why was the broom late? It overswept.
  10. What is a monster’s favorite hair style? Scare-do.
  11. Why did the hair stylist win the race? Because he took the shortcut!
  12. What does a hairdresser do before it’s bedtime? She brushes her hair out.
  13. Why don’t hair stylists need to diet? Because they can always trim the fat.
  14. What hair style is a tree’s favorite? Fringe.
  15. Why don’t secrets work in a hair salon? Too many split ends.
  16. Why did the barber win the horse race? Because he took the mane course.
  17. Why did the hair go to school? To get a little higher education.
  18. How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short.
  19. What did the blonde say after her haircut? “That’s a weight off my shoulders!”
  20. How do hair stylists speed up their job? They take short cuts!
  21. Why are hair stylists so good at solving problems? They always get to the root of the problem.
  22. Why was the hairbrush so good at making decisions? It always goes straight through things.
  23. What did the hair say to the hat? You cover me up!
  24. What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
  25. Why was the hair gel feeling down? It couldn’t keep it together.
  26. What’s a hairstylist’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because of all the angles!
  27. What did one hair say to the other hair? I’ve got your back.
  28. What did the hair say to the hat? “You go on ahead, I’ll hang around at the back.”
  29. Why did the man go to the hair salon? To get a new dye-mension!
  30. What is a hair’s favorite kind of movie? A romantic braidy.
  31. Why did the man get a haircut at the bank? He wanted to cut his interest.
  32. Why don’t hairbrushes ever make good comedians? They always brush off the punchline!
  33. Why did the comb go to therapy? It couldn’t handle going through so much hair.
  34. Why did the hair get a trophy? It was always ahead.
  35. How do bees style their hair? With honeycombs.
  36. Why was the computer cold at the hair salon? It left its Windows open!
  37. What do you call a group of hair follicles that play instruments? A band of braids.
  38. Why did the woman break up with her hairbrush? It was always going through her stuff!
  39. Why did the wig go to jail? It was part of a hairy situation.
  40. What did the hair say to the bald head? “I got you covered!”

Bad Hair Jokes

 Bad Hair Jokes

Here are some more hair-related jokes for you. They might be considered “bad” or “punny”, but they’re all in good fun!

  1. Why did the man go bald? No hair-itage!
  2. Why was the hairbrush so good at decision making? It always goes straight to the root of the problem.
  3. Why was the computer cold at the barber shop? It left its Windows open!
  4. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
  5. What hair color do they sell at the bakery? Bun-ette.
  6. Why did the hair tie go to jail? It was caught up in a bunch of messy buns!
  7. What type of hair does a car have? Exhausted!
  8. Why was the belt arrested at the hair salon? It was holding up a pair of snippers!
  9. Why don’t hair strands ever go lost? Because they follow the hair-map!
  10. Why did the man break up with his barber? He always felt cut off.
  11. How do hair stylists say goodbye? “Braid ya later!”
  12. Why did the hairstyle go to school? To get a little higher education.
  13. Why was the hairbrush the best at keeping secrets? It always kept things under the bristles.
  14. Why did the barber make a good gardener? He was great at trimming the bushes!
  15. Why don’t hairdressers ever get lost? They always take the shortcut.
  16. What do you call a hair stylist’s car? A shear-iot!
  17. Why did the barber go to the park? To take some time off and relax on the bench under the fringe trees.
  18. Why did the man go to the hair salon? To tie up some loose ends.
  19. What’s a hair’s favorite sport? Braid-yball!
  20. Why did the hairbrush get an award? Because it goes straight to the root of the problem.
  21. How do hairs keep their clothes up? With hair-belts!
  22. What do you call a facial hair that can sing? A beard-itone!
  23. Why did the man refuse to cut his hair? He was growing attached to it.
  24. What do you call a gang of hairs? A frizz-tastic squad!
  25. Why did the hair never lose at checkers? Because it always kinged itself!
  26. Why did the hair cross the road? To get to the other sideburn!
  27. Why did the hair go to the bakery? It wanted to become a bun!
  28. Why did the hair always carry a map? It didn’t want to lose its part.
  29. What do you call a hair that tells jokes? A combed-ian!
  30. Why don’t barbers get lost? They always take the shortcut.
  31. What type of hairstyle do bees prefer? Buzz cuts!
  32. Why was the bad hair day so educational? It was a real learning frizz.
  33. Why did the barber go to jail? For cutting in line.
  34. What do you call a hair that loves cars? A hair-drodynamics enthusiast!
  35. Why don’t hairs ever throw a surprise party? They always curl up at the last minute.
  36. What do you call a hair that can’t make up its mind? Indecisive frizz!
  37. Why did the hair say sorry? It didn’t mean to tangle.
  38. Why was the hair always tired? It never got any rest-curls!

Funny Jokes About Haircuts

Funny Jokes About Haircuts
  1. Why was the hairbrush so good at making decisions? It always goes straight to the point.
  2. Why did the hair clip feel lonely? It just couldn’t find its mate.
  3. What do you call a pixie cut in space? An astro-cut!
  4. How do you call a shared haircut? Split-ends!
  5. Why did the computer go to the hair salon? It needed a byte trim.
  6. What do you call a mix between a hairdresser and a detective? Sherlock Combs.
  7. Why was the hairbrush so good at making decisions? It always goes straight through.
  8. Why did the man go to the hair salon? He wanted to part with his hair!
  9. What do you call a group of hairs in a band? The Headbangers!
  10. What’s a tree’s favorite haircut? A trim!
  11. What do you call a haunted hairstyle? Scare-do!
  12. What does a hair say during a race? I’m ahead!
  13. What did the hair say to the barber? Cut it out!
  14. What’s the most musical part of a hair? The hair-band.
  15. Why did the hair like the barbershop? It always felt cut above the rest there.
  16. What did the bald man say to the barber? I just came in for the company.
  17. Why don’t hair stylists need to work out? They get enough exercise from running their fingers through their hair.
  18. Why was the police officer stationed at the barber shop? He was there to break up any cutting remarks.
  19. What do you call a spy who specializes in hair? James Bond, Licensed to Trim!
  20. What do you call a hair stylist’s bad day? A shear disaster!
  21. Why was the computer at the hair salon? It had too many bad bytes.
  22. What’s a hair stylist’s favorite road? The highway – it’s the straightest!
  23. What’s a bald man’s favorite dinosaur? The Hair-o-saurus Rex!
  24. What did the hair say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll hang around here.
  25. Why was the hairbrush so good at tennis? It always goes straight for the line.
  26. What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line!
  27. What did the hair say to the barber? You cut me real deep.
  28. What do you call a hair style that is cooked perfectly? Well-done.
  29. How does a hair sign off a letter? Yours, curlly.
  30. What do you call a king’s haircut? A royal trim!
  31. Why did the barber go to jail? For making razor sharp comments!
  32. Why did the hair go to the party with a hat? It didn’t want to let its hair down.
  33. What do you call a lion’s haircut? A mane cut!
  34. Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because from a distance it looked like hare!
  35. Why don’t hairs like fast food? It gives them greasy roots.
  36. What do you call a fast haircut? A clip in time!
  37. Why did the barber become a baseball coach? He knew the drill!
  38. Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
  39. What do you call a bear without hair? A gummy bear!
  40. What do you call an astronaut’s haircut? An ‘Astro-cut’.
  41. How does the barber make his car run smoother? He uses a hair conditioner!
  42. Why did the barber go to the race track? He wanted to take a short cut.

Jokes For Hairdressers

Jokes For Hairdressers
  1. Why don’t hairdressers go on roller coasters? They’d rather curl up and dye!
  2. Why did the hairbrush always excel in school? It went straight to the head of the class.
  3. What does a hairdresser do on a roller coaster? She makes waves!
  4. What do you call a hairdresser who never sits down? A cut above the rest!
  5. Why did the hairdresser bring a broom to work? To sweep up her cuttings.
  6. Why do hairdressers always carry a pencil? In case they come across split ends.
  7. Why don’t hairdressers like to play hide and seek? They always get stuck in the brush.
  8. Why was the hairbrush the best at hide and seek? Because it always goes straight to the roots!
  9. What do you call a hairdresser’s car? A shear delight!
  10. How do hairdressers say goodbye? “See you layer!”
  11. What do you call a hairdresser who can play the guitar? A rock and roll stylist!
  12. Why did the hairdresser break up with her boyfriend? Because he was always splitting hairs!
  13. What does a hairdresser do to a salad? She trims the lettuce and teases the tomatoes.
  14. Why was the hairdresser never late for work? She knew all the shortcuts!
  15. Why are hairdressers good at solving problems? They untangle things every day!
  16. Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
  17. How does a hairdresser drive her car? She takes the shortest route.
  18. What do you call a hairdresser who likes to cut under the stars? A scissor-star!
  19. Why did the hairbrush get promoted? It always goes straight to the point.
  20. Why do hairdressers never get caught in traffic? They always know the short cuts.
  21. Why was the hair stylist always happy? Because she was in a cutting-edge industry!
  22. Why do hairdressers make terrible secret agents? They can’t resist spilling the salon gossip.
  23. What do you call a hairdresser who works on a boat? A shearwater stylist!
  24. What does a hairdresser do at a track and field event? She makes the cut.
  25. What’s a hairdresser’s favorite track and field event? The high jump, because it’s all about volume!
  26. What do you call a stylist who can’t stop cutting hair? A shear-o-holic!
  27. Why are hairdressers good at playing poker? They always straighten things out.
  28. Why don’t hairdressers make good cooks? They’re always cutting corners!
  29. Why did the hairdresser go to jail? For cutting and styling!
  30. What do you call a hairdresser’s cat? A trim-tabby!
  31. How does a hairdresser say goodnight? “Sleep tight, don’t let the bed heads bite!”
  32. What did the hairdresser say to the client who wanted a unique haircut? “I’ll curl up and dye for you!”
  33. What does a hairdresser do on a football field? She scores a trim!
  34. Why do hairdressers make good gardeners? Because they know how to trim the bushes!
  35. What did the hairdresser say when the client asked for a change? “Weave it to me!”
  36. Why was the hairdresser so noisy? She couldn’t stop her chatter-box!
  37. What did the hairdresser say to the indecisive client? “Can’t decide if you want a cut or not? Comb on!”
  38. Why did the barber become a baseball coach? He knows the drill!
  39. Why did the hairdresser bring a ladder to work? She was taking her career to new heights!
  40. What did the hair say to the hairdresser? “Cut me some slack!”
  41. What do hairdressers use to fix a flat tire? A hair pump!
  42. Why did the hairdresser bring a knife to work? She wanted to take a stab at a new style!

Hair Puns

Hair Puns
  1. I decided to get a new hairstyle. I’m going for the shear excitement!
  2. Every morning, I wake up with a new hairstyle. It’s my bed-head innovation.
  3. I couldn’t figure out what to do with my hair today. I’m having a bad hair daze.
  4. I didn’t want to go bald in silence, so I let my hair make a comb-back.
  5. My hairdresser and I always have such deep, comb-versations.
  6. My hair was behaving so well today. I guess it finally decided to comb-ly.
  7. My hairdresser told me I needed a trim. I told her to cut it out.
  8. I decided to let my hair run wild. It’s a hairy situation!
  9. I told my hair to behave, but it’s always been very headstrong.
  10. I’m getting my hair done today. I’m dye-ing to see the new color!
  11. I was going to tease my hair, but it has very thin skin.
  12. I asked my hair if it liked the new shampoo. It nodded in conditioner.
  13. I tried to straighten my hair, but it had too many twists and turns.
  14. My hair and I broke up today. We just weren’t cut out for each other.
  15. I asked my hair about its life plans. It said it wants to grow.
  16. I told my hair to stop acting out. It immediately straightened up.
  17. My hair’s favorite breakfast is eggs and baco-fringe.
  18. My hair got into a fight today. It split ends.
  19. My hair said it wanted to travel. It’s going to part-ugal.
  20. I asked my hair why it was being so difficult. It said it was having a brush with death.
  21. My hair has always been an extrovert. It loves being the mane attraction.
  22. I asked my hair why it was so angry. It said it was just having a brush with anger.
  23. My hair asked me to take it on vacation. I said, “No, we’re not going to the beach, you’re too wavy.”
  24. My hair is always messing up my selfies. It’s a real photobomb-shell.
  25. My hair is very spiritual. It has a lot of roots.
  26. My hair is trying to get into shape. It’s going for the curl-lympics.
  27. My hair has always been a rebel. It loves to go against the grain.
  28. I’m going to the hairdresser today. I’m dye-ing to change my look.
  29. My hair is always practicing safety. It likes to use a lot of hair spray.
  30. My hair never behaves. It’s a real frizz-bee.
  31. I tried to give myself a haircut, but I just couldn’t cut it.
  32. My hair has a way with words. It’s very pun-ny.
  33. My hair decided to take up gardening. It loves the hair-biculture.
  34. My hair is always looking for a good time. It loves to party.
  35. My hair is always moving. It has a lot of bounce.
  36. I told my hair to take a break. It immediately went on a bun-cation.
  37. I told my hair to behave. It gave me a brush off.
  38. My hair is feeling a little under the weather today. It has a case of the frizz-les.
  39. My hair was feeling adventurous. It wanted to go on a hair-raising journey.
  40. My hair told me a secret. It said it was just a strand-er in the night.
  41. I told my hair to wake up. It gave me a rude awakening.

Long Hair Jokes

Long Hair Jokes
  1. Why was the hairbrush so good at making decisions? It always goes straight through!
  2. What do you call long hair that shines in the sun? A highlight!
  3. Why don’t long hairs get lost? They always follow the hair-map!
  4. Why did the long hair go to the party? It wanted to let loose!
  5. Why did Rapunzel get in trouble in school? She couldn’t keep her hair to herself.
  6. Why do long hairs never lose at a game? Because they always go the extra length!
  7. How does a piece of long hair write a letter? By using a pen and in-curl.
  8. What’s a ghost’s favorite hair length? Long and fright-ening!
  9. Why do long hairs make good detectives? Because they always get straight to the root of the problem!
  10. Why was the long hair good at soccer? It could always head the ball!
  11. What do you call a long hair who works at a circus? A hair-raising performer!
  12. What’s the hardest part about having long hair? It takes ages to comb!
  13. Why do people with long hair make good actors? They’re used to hair-raising experiences!
  14. What do you call a king with long hair? Your high-ness.
  15. What’s the worst thing about having long hair in summer? It becomes a hot-head!
  16. Why do people with long hair make great chefs? Because they always have something cooking up under their hairnet.
  17. Why do people with long hair always carry a hair tie? Because they like to stay prepared!
  18. What do you call long hair that tells jokes? A hair-larious strand!
  19. Why did the long hair go to the movie theater? To see a hair-raising film!
  20. How do people with long hair play football? They just whip their hair back and forth.
  21. What do you call a long hair that loves Christmas? Tinsel-tress!
  22. Why did the long hair go to the therapist? It was feeling a bit twisted.
  23. What did the long hair say to the scissors? Cut it out!
  24. How do people with long hair go through doors? They make an entrance!
  25. What do you call long hair that’s a musician? Hair-monica!
  26. Why don’t long hairs play hide and seek? Because they always get spotted!
  27. What do you call a long hair on a journey? An adventurer!
  28. What did the long hair say to the wind? Stop blowing me away!
  29. Why was the long hair a good student? It always went to great lengths to do well!
  30. What did the long hair say to the comb? You’re going straight through me!
  31. What’s the worst part about having long hair? When you get a knot, it’s a real hair-mergency!
  32. What did the long hair say to the hat? You always go straight to my head!

Funny Bald Jokes

Funny Bald Jokes
  1. Why don’t bald people use keys? Because they’ve lost their locks!
  2. Why was the bald man a great musician? Because he could always hit the high notes.
  3. What do you call a bald man at a bakery? A dough head.
  4. Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because from a distance it looked like hare!
  5. What do you call a bald man in a swimming pool? A bob.
  6. Why do bald men make great detectives? Nothing gets over their heads.
  7. Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? From a distance, they looked like hare.
  8. What do you call a bald man who works at a restaurant? A head waiter!
  9. Why are bald bankers great? They know a good deal when they see it. They’re used to losing interest.
  10. How does a bald man answer the phone? He takes the call head-on!
  11. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
  12. Why don’t bald people write with pencils? Because they’re afraid of pointless things.
  13. Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? So he could run his fingers through his hair.
  14. Why was the bald book smart? Because it was well-read and always had a shiny cover.
  15. Why did the bald man have a great poker face? Because you couldn’t see his tells through his hair.
  16. Why did the bald man get a job as a chef? He lost his taste for hair.
  17. Why did the bald man always win at poker? Because he had a bald face!
  18. What did the bald man say at the hat shop? “Hair’s looking at you, kid.”
  19. Why don’t bald people use keys? They’ve lost their locks.
  20. Why do bald men make great sailors? They always go straight to the root of the problem.
  21. What did the bald man say when he saw a comb on the floor? That’s something I won’t go through.
  22. Why don’t bald people ever lose at poker? They’re not afraid to go all in.
  23. What did the bald man say when he received a hat as a birthday gift? Head’s up!
  24. Why did the bald man become a baseball player? He was already a great head-er!
  25. Why was the bald man a good driver? He could never turn a hair.
  26. What does a bald man say when you ask if he uses shampoo? No, I’m a clean man!
  27. Why don’t bald people get distracted? Because nothing goes over their head.
  28. Why don’t bald people tell secrets? They don’t want anyone to split hairs.
  29. Why was the bald man always calm? Because he never pulls his hair out.
  30. Why are bald men great at the library? They always go straight to the point.
  31. Why don’t bald people play hide and seek? Because they always get spotted.
  32. Why do bald people never get promoted? They can’t climb the hair ladder.
  33. What did the hat say to the bald man? You look head-turning today!
  34. Why did the bald man become a gardener? He wanted to get to the root of the problem.
  35. Why did the bald man refuse to play cards? He was afraid of hair-raising stakes.
  36. Why do bald people never lose at chess? They always keep their heads in the game.
  37. Why don’t bald people get lost? Because they take the shortcut.
  38. Why do bald people like smart phones? No more hair-raising calls.
  39. Why do bald people make good judges? They’re impartial, they never hair-split.
  40. Why did the bald man go to the park? He wanted to add some hair-raising excitement to his day.
  41. Why did the bald man always carry an umbrella? He didn’t want to get a sunburnt scalp!
  42. Why was the bald man a good writer? He never split hairs about grammar.
  43. What do you call a bald magician? Hairy Potter with no Hair!
  44. Why did the bald man never lose at tic-tac-toe? He always went straight to the point.
  45. What did the sign say outside the bald man’s house? “Baldly going where no man has gone before.”

Jokes On How Does A Bee Part His Hair

Jokes On How Does A Bee Part His Hair
  1. Why does a bee visit the barber? To get a buzz cut with a honeycomb!
  2. Why was the bee’s hair always so shiny? Because it uses a honeycomb!
  3. Why are bees the best hairdressers? They always have their honeycomb on hand!
  4. Why does the bee always win the hairstyle competition? It uses a honeycomb!
  5. What’s a bee’s secret to beautiful hair? A honeycomb!
  6. Why was the bee’s hair so soft? It was styled with a honeycomb!
  7. Why did the bee make an appointment at the salon? It needed help using its honeycomb!
  8. Why did the bee always ace its hairdo? Because it had a honeycomb!
  9. Why did the bee get a job as a hairdresser? It was an expert with a honeycomb!
  10. Why did the bee’s hair always look perfect? Because it uses a honeycomb!
  11. Why was the bee chosen as the best hair model? It’s all thanks to the honeycomb!
  12. Why was the bee so good at playing hair salon? It had a handy honeycomb!
  13. Why does a bee never have a bad hair day? Because it uses a honeycomb!
  14. Why did the bee always look so neat? It had its trusty honeycomb!
  15. How does a bee keep its hair back during a soccer game? With a honeycomb!
  16. Why did the bee win the hairdo competition? The secret was in the honeycomb!
  17. Why did the bee get compliments on its hair? Because it uses a honeycomb!
  18. Why was the bee confident on picture day? Because it had a honeycomb!
  19. How did the bee get ready for its date? It styled its hair with a honeycomb!
  20. Why did the bee start a beauty blog? It wanted to share its honeycomb secrets!
  21. Why did the bee get a promotion to salon manager? It had the best honeycomb technique!
  22. How does a bee prepare for a TV appearance? It uses a honeycomb!
  23. Why does a bee always look ready for a photo shoot? It uses a honeycomb!
  24. Why was the bee the talk of the hive? Because it used a honeycomb!
  25. Why do bees always have the latest hairstyles? They’ve got their honeycombs!
  26. Why do bees never have to worry about hair envy? They’ve got the honeycomb!
  27. Why do bees always look runway ready? It’s all about the honeycomb!
  28. Why was the bee always the most stylish at the party? It used a honeycomb!
  29. How does a bee stay looking sharp? It keeps its honeycomb handy!
  30. Why does a bee always get attention at the hair salon? It brings its own honeycomb!

Final Words

We hope that these hair jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day.

Remember, laughter is a fantastic medicine, and there’s nothing like a good joke to lift your spirits and spread cheer.

So, don’t be afraid to share these hair-larious jokes with your friends, family, or even your hairdresser during your next appointment.

Keep brushing, styling, and most importantly, keep laughing because as we now know, the world of haircare is a goldmine of giggles and jests.

Stay tuned for more such fun-filled articles to keep your laughter meter high!

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