Laughing Beans: A Compilation of Funny Bean Jokes

Journey into the world of puns, plays on words, and wholesome humor with “Laughing Beans: A Compilation of Funny Bean Jokes”.

This collection is sure to bring laughter to both adults and children alike, offering a light-hearted escape from the day-to-day routine.

The jokes here are centered around beans, those lovable legumes that have been staple foods for millennia, yet have rarely been the subject of such rib-tickling humor.

Whether it’s baked beans, green beans, black beans, or even jelly beans, no bean is left unturned in our quest for chuckles and chortles.

Green Bean Puns

Green Bean Puns
  1. You’ve “bean” on my mind all day!
  2. I told my friend a green bean joke, he said it was “pod-fully” funny.
  3. What’s a bean’s favorite classic rock band? The Rolling Green Beans.
  4. Green beans make excellent musicians because they’re always in “pod” harmony.
  5. Green beans never lie, they’re always “string”-ing the truth.
  6. Why did the green bean get a timeout? It wasn’t “bean”-having.
  7. Green beans always have time to “catch-up,” they’re never in a rush.
  8. I asked a green bean for its autograph because it was a “legume-dary” vegetable.
  9. The green bean’s book wasn’t a bestseller. It didn’t have enough snap.
  10. My friend doesn’t eat green beans anymore; he says he’s “bean” there, done that.
  11. How do green beans say hello in Japan? Eda-mame!
  12. The green beans were the life of the party, they knew how to “string” along.
  13. Why did the green bean become a gardener? It had a green thumb.
  14. You don’t need to “string” me along, I already love green beans.
  15. Why don’t green beans play hide and seek? They like to remain “bean”-seen.
  16. How do green beans keep their figure? They’re always on the run-ner.
  17. The green bean was sad because it was feeling “pod”-cast aside.
  18. What do green beans wear to bed? Their p-jamas.
  19. The green bean won the race because it was a “pod”-igy.
  20. Never argue with a green bean, they’re full of “bean”-ergetic points.
  21. The green bean was popular because it had plenty of “bean”-erific ideas.
  22. What’s a green bean’s favorite type of music? “Pod”-hop!
  23. The green bean always stayed in touch, it didn’t want to feel “bean”-lone.
  24. I’m always happy to “bean” in the company of green beans.
  25. The green bean didn’t need a compass; it always knew where it was “bean”.
  26. How do green beans stay fresh? They take a “re-fresh-er” course.
  27. What’s a green bean’s favorite crime show? Pod-en Minds.
  28. Green beans are never out of fashion, they have timeless “bean”-auty.
  29. Why did the green bean go to the doctor? It had a case of “bean”-itis.
  30. What’s a green bean’s favorite movie? The “Bean”-terminator.
  31. Green beans can’t jump because they are not “bean”-pole vaulters.
  32. Green beans are not selfish, they always stay in their “pod”.
  33. Why are green beans good at games? They always stay in the “run”-ner’s lane.
  34. Why don’t green beans go to the beach? They don’t want to be “bean”-fried.
  35. What do green beans say when they score a goal? “Bean”-goal!
  36. Why are green beans poor runners? They can’t “bean”-d properly.
  37. Green beans are generous because they always like to “bean”-d over backward for others.
  38. Why are green beans bad at hiding? They always “spill the beans”.
  39. The green bean was an artist, it loved “pod”-scaping.
  40. What do green beans bring to a picnic? Bean”-sandwich

Jelly Bean Puns

Jelly Bean Puns
  1. You’re “bean” my sweetest friend!
  2. I’m not “jell-ous,” I’m just a jelly bean.
  3. Jelly beans never lose a game because they always “gel” well together.
  4. I’m always ready to “jelly” around when there are jelly beans.
  5. You’re “bean” the jelly to my bean.
  6. Jelly beans can’t dance? That’s a “jel-lie”.
  7. I’d jump into a pool of jelly beans, just for the “jelly” of it.
  8. Jelly beans never go out of style, they’re timeless “treats”.
  9. The jelly bean is my favorite candy because it has never “bean” sweeter.
  10. A jelly bean’s favorite pop singer? Kelly “Bean”-son.
  11. Why did the jelly bean go to school? To become a “jelly” scholar.
  12. Jelly beans are always happy, they have a “jelly” good time.
  13. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite sport? “Jelly”-ball.
  14. Why are jelly beans never alone? They come in packs.
  15. Jelly beans are never boring, they always “bean” fun.
  16. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite band? The Rolling Beans.
  17. Jelly beans always stick together, they’re very “gel”-cohesive.
  18. My heart “beans” for you like a jelly bean.
  19. What did the jelly bean say to its friend? “Bean” there for you.
  20. Why don’t jelly beans make good secrets keepers? They always “spill the beans”.
  21. The jelly bean didn’t go to the party because it was “bean” and gone.
  22. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite TV show? The “Bean”-witched Hour.
  23. What did one jelly bean say to the other? “I’m stuck on you!”
  24. A jelly bean’s favorite place to visit? The “bean”-each.
  25. Jelly beans don’t rush, they always “bean” on time.
  26. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite instrument? The “bean”-jo.
  27. The jelly bean is my “bean”-st friend forever.
  28. What do you call a lovable jelly bean? A “bean”-darling.
  29. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite comic? The “Jelly”-sons.
  30. I told my friend a jelly bean joke, and he said it was “bean”-tastic.
  31. Jelly beans are always in shape because they “bean”-ercise.
  32. How do jelly beans say goodbye? “Bean” seeing you!
  33. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite season? Spring, because it’s jelly “bean” season.
  34. How do jelly beans stay updated? They read the “bean”-ly news.
  35. Jelly beans are always in fashion because they have a “bean”-guine style.
  36. Why do jelly beans make good comedians? They always have a “bean”-ny joke.
  37. Jelly beans are not lazy, they have always “bean” working.
  38. How do jelly beans stay cool? They chill in the “bean”-fridge.
  39. Why don’t jelly beans get stressed? They have a “jelly” good temperament.
  40. What’s a jelly bean’s favorite magazine? “Bean”-Vogue.
  41. Why did the jelly bean go to therapy? It was feeling “bean”-blue.
  42. Jelly beans are always positive because they have a “jelly”-ful attitude.
  43. Jelly beans never give up, they always

Plus Chickpea Puns

  1. I’ve “bean” thinking about you all day.
  2. If a chickpea makes you laugh, is it a “chickpea-sy” comedy?
  3. The chickpea didn’t want to fight; it’s a “chickpea-ce” lover.
  4. What do you call a tiny chickpea? A “chick-pea-wee”.
  5. Chickpeas always have time for a “chit-chat-pea”.
  6. The chickpea won the race because it was a fast “sprinter-pea”.
  7. Chickpeas make great comedians, they always “crack-pea” up.
  8. Chickpeas are never rude; they always say “peas” and thank you.
  9. The chickpea couldn’t find its car, it had a “misplace-pea.
  10. The chickpea was a great magician, it knew how to “disappear-pea”.
  11. What’s a chickpea’s favorite show? “Game of Peas”.
  12. The chickpea got a promotion, it was now a “manager-pea”.
  13. A chickpea’s favorite song? “Sweet Pea” by Amos Lee.
  14. The chickpea didn’t like winter because it was a “chickpea-sicle”.
  15. Chickpeas always stay fit because they “jog-pea” every morning.
  16. Chickpeas make good musicians, they always hit the right “pitch-pea”.
  17. What’s a chickpea’s favorite drink? “Pea”-na colada.
  18. Why did the chickpea go to jail? For “impersona-pea-ting” a human.
  19. What’s a chickpea’s favorite toy? A “yo-pea-o”.
  20. Chickpeas are good at math, they’re great at “com-pea-ting”.
  21. The chickpea was a good storyteller because it always had a “grip-pea” tale.
  22. What do chickpeas become when they grow up? Adult-peas.
  23. Chickpeas never get lost because they always have a “map-pea”.
  24. Why did the chickpea bring a map to the party? To “pea”-point its location.
  25. Why are chickpeas great at games? They always “com-pea-te” fairly.
  26. The chickpea didn’t want to play hide and seek, it didn’t want to “disappear-pea”.
  27. Why did the chickpea go to the art show? It loved “master-pea-ces”.
  28. Why are chickpeas the best employees? They never “disappear-pea” from work.
  29. The chickpea was the life of the party because it was a “happ-pea” bean.
  30. Chickpeas make good photographers because they always “snap-pea” the perfect shot.
  31. Why did the chickpea become a gardener? It had a green “pea”-thumb.
  32. Why did the chickpea get an award? For its “exempla-pea” work.
  33. What’s a chickpea’s favorite sport? “Ski-pea”.
  34. Why don’t chickpeas ever quit? They have lots of “perseveran-pea”.
  35. Chickpeas always win at chess because they “king-pea”.
  36. Chickpeas are always ready for adventure, they love to “explor-pea”.

Beans in places they should’t be jokes

  1. Why was the bean at the library? It was “refrying” to improve its knowledge.
  2. Why was the bean at the computer? It was updating its “status-pinto.”
  3. Why was there a bean in the orchestra? It had just landed the role of the “bean”go drum.
  4. Why did the bean go to the amusement park? It wanted to ride the roller-“beanster”.
  5. Why was the bean in the bakery? It was trying to “yeast” its way into a bread roll.
  6. Why was the bean at the gym? It was working on its “bean”ceps.
  7. Why was the bean at the bar? It was a “baked bean” looking for a toast.
  8. Why was the bean at the soccer field? It was trying to “bean” the goalie.
  9. Why did the bean go to the dentist? It had a “bean-cavity”.
  10. Why was the bean in the beauty salon? It was getting a “bean-tiful” makeover.
  11. Why was the bean at the golf course? It wanted to work on its “swing bean”.
  12. Why did the bean go to the shoe store? It was looking for a new pair of “bean-boots”.
  13. Why was the bean at the police station? It was reporting a “rob-bean-ry”.
  14. Why was the bean in the office? It had a “dead-bean” to meet.
  15. Why was the bean at the art gallery? It wanted to be a “master-peas”.
  16. Why did the bean go to the cinema? It wanted to watch a rom-“bean”-tic movie.
  17. Why did the bean go to the beach? It was catching some “bean”-rays.
  18. Why was the bean at the hardware store? It was looking for a new “bean”-drill.
  19. Why was the bean in the candy store? It thought it was a jelly bean.
  20. Why did the bean go to the aquarium? It wanted to see the “bean”-whales.

Lima Bean Jokes

Lima Bean Jokes
  1. What do you call a lima bean that has mastered meditation? A “zen”-sational bean.
  2. Why did the lima bean bring a ladder to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house.
  3. Why was the lima bean good at math? Because it was always “counting beans”.
  4. Why was the lima bean a good artist? Because it was always “drawing beans”.
  5. What did the lima bean say when it grew up? “I’ve ‘bean’ adulting!”
  6. What do you call a lima bean with no money? A “has-bean”.
  7. Why was the lima bean always broke? Because it always “spilled the beans”.
  8. Why was the lima bean always in trouble? Because it was a “has-bean”.
  9. What do you call a lima bean that tells jokes? A “funny bean”.
  10. Why did the lima bean refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of “spilling the beans”.
  11. What’s a lima bean’s favorite book? The Great “Beans”-by.
  12. Why did the lima bean go to the party? Because it was a “social bean”.
  13. Why was the lima bean a great detective? Because it could always “spill the beans”.
  14. What do you call a lima bean in a spaceship? An “alien bean”.
  15. Why did the lima bean go to therapy? Because it had “bean” feeling down.
  16. What do you call a lima bean at a rock concert? A “jelly bean”.
  17. Why did the lima bean go to the casino? Because it loved to “bet beans”.
  18. Why was the lima bean a great storyteller? Because it could always “spill the beans”.
  19. Why did the lima bean become a teacher? Because it had “bean” there, done that.
  20. What do you call a lima bean that can sing? A “musical bean”.
  21. Why was the lima bean in the gym? It wanted to “work its beans off”.
  22. Why did the lima bean go to the beach? Because it wanted to be a “beach bean”.
  23. What do you call a lima bean that practices yoga? A “flexi-bean”.
  24. Why did the lima bean become a chef? Because it loved to “spill the beans”.
  25. Why did the lima bean stop dating the coffee bean? Because it was “bean” there, done that.
  26. Why was the lima bean bad at hide and seek? Because it always “spilled the beans”.
  27. Why did the lima bean go to the opera? Because it wanted to “hear the beans”.
  28. Why was the lima bean always late? Because it was a “slow bean”.
  29. Why did the lima bean go to the museum? Because it was a “cultured bean”.
  30. What do you call a lima bean that’s bad at basketball? A “has-bean”.

Beans Love Is Blind Jokes

  1. Why did the bean fall in love with the lentil? Because bean love, sight doesn’t matter.
  2. Why did the garbanzo bean propose to the black bean? Because it believed that in love, color doesn’t matter.
  3. Why do beans fall in love so easily? Because they believe that in love, even the “bean-flaws” are beautiful.
  4. What did the coffee bean say to the soybean? “In love, species doesn’t matter.”
  5. Why did the kidney bean marry the pinto bean? Because in bean love, size doesn’t matter.
  6. Why did the chickpea fall in love with the lima bean? Because it learned that in love, shape doesn’t matter.
  7. Why did the green bean marry the baked bean? Because it understood that in love, the “bean-side” matters, not the outside.
  8. Why do beans say that love is blind? Because they don’t care about the “bean-baggage” they carry.
  9. What did the jelly bean say to the black-eyed pea? “In love, our sugary or savory tastes don’t matter.”
  10. Why did the bean fall in love with the lentil? It said, “In bean love, we don’t ‘lentil’ on appearances.”

Chickpea Garbanzo Bean Jokes

  1. Why don’t chickpeas and garbanzo beans ever play hide and seek together? Because they always “pea-k”!
  2. What did the chickpea say to the garbanzo bean at the party? “We’re two peas in a pod.”
  3. Why did the chickpea break up with the garbanzo bean? Because it was “tired of the same old hummus”.
  4. What do you call a chickpea that’s friends with a garbanzo bean? A “chick-banzo”.
  5. Why was the chickpea jealous of the garbanzo bean? Because it was always “soaking” up the attention.
  6. Why couldn’t the chickpea and the garbanzo bean start their band? They couldn’t agree on the “beats”.
  7. What did the garbanzo say to the chickpea? “Don’t worry, we’re the same, we both ‘bean’ there.”
  8. Why do chickpeas and garbanzo beans never argue? Because they’re “peas in a pod”.
  9. What do you call a fast chickpea? A “garban-zoom” bean.
  10. What do you get when a chickpea and garbanzo bean start a company? A “bean-ness” partnership.

Jokes About Puns

  1. Why don’t we tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
  2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  7. I’d tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
  8. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  9. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
  10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  11. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  12. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
  13. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  15. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
  16. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  17. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
  18. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
  19. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  20. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
  21. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. No pun in ten did.
  22. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
  23. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  24. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
  25. I was going to tell a dead pun, but I realized it’s pointless.
  26. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  27. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  28. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  29. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
  30. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  31. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  32. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust.
  33. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  34. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  35. I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
  36. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
  37. Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
  38. Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks, “What kind of music do you like?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
  39. My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
  40. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
  41. I was going to share a vegetable joke

Final Words

“Laughing Beans: A Compilation of Funny Bean Jokes” has successfully managed to extract humor from an unexpected source – our humble beans.

Whether you’re looking for a corny joke to share at dinner, a pun to lighten a conversation, or just want to indulge in some simple, clean humor, this compilation offers an abundance of laughs.

By exploring the often overlooked comedic potential of beans, this collection proves that humor can truly be found everywhere, even in our pantry! From the kitchen table to the comedy club, these bean jokes will continue to delight, proving that sometimes, it’s the simplest things in life that can make us smile the most.

Check More Jokes:

Funny Mushroom Puns

Lemon Jokes

Blue Jokes

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